30 Before 30: Learn to make baby food

Today I checked #15 off my 30 before 30 list!

We started baby cereal just over a week or so ago. Slim is loving it so onto the next big milestone in our sweet baby's life, baby food!

Here is what I bought at the grocery store:
3 apples (gala)
2 pears
1 avocado
1 bag frozen peas
1 sweet potato

I used a Baeba Babycook which I got used and the lady threw in a set of One Step Ahead storage cups and I had also received a solid food storage kit as baby gift as well (Thanks Shannon F.!). The best thing about the baeba is that I didn't have to separately steam! It is all in one and SUPER easy to use. I rinsed the cooking bowl between each batch and even that wasn't too bad. 

Total prep of dicing all of the fruits and veggies took about 20 minutes. I also received an awesome apple corer and peeler as a baby gift (Thanks Katie W.!) which saved a TON of time with the apples and pears.

I don't think this could have been easier. I got all of the fruits and veggies chopped and ready to go into the baeba. While each batch steamed (which took about 15 minutes) I could fold a load of laundry. The total process from start to finish took just under 2.5 hours and yielded 57 ounces of baby food.

3 apples = 17 oz

2 pears = 9 oz
1 avocado = 6 oz
1 bag frozen peas = 12 oz
1 sweet potato = 13 oz

Slim had an oz of sweet potatoes with his oatmeal at lunch and loved it! The rest of the food I put into the freezer and will pop them out of the trays and store them in a ziplock bag.

Total cost $5.13 which ends up at just 9 cents per oz compared to the ready made Gerber food which comes in just under 60 cents per oz AND I know exactly what is in Slim's food. Sounds like a win-win to me! 

Put your best foot forward...

...and get out of the way.

That is my Dad's way of saying, you are not in control. Let go. Let God. 

People ask me all the time how I do it.

How did you get through a sickly child who stopped breathing and had to be rushed via ambulance to the hospital from his preschool?

How did you get through finding out you had a brain tumor when you were 31 weeks pregnant?

How did you bring your 35 week old baby into this world unsure of what would come after?
How did you stay positive when any other person would crumble?

How do you always turn a negative into a positive?

Today, I was referred to as an eternal optimist. I have always know optimism is a strong suit for me, but hadn't really reflected on how deep that was ingrained in me. Anyone who knows me, knows I went straight to google...

Eternal optimist, noun:

1. A person who never ceases to give up hope in something they believe. 
2. A person who will continue to believe in something or a positive outcome till the end of time.

Yep, that is me. Finding the glass half full. Never giving up hope there will be a light at the end of the tunnel. Always. Each thing in my life prepared me for the next. Each lesson learned has a purpose and a meaning.

People have said a lot of nice things about me over the years. I am very blessed to have many people who think the world of me. But today I realized, that is what I want to be remembered for in my life and hopefully someone will be inspired enough by my eternal optimism to make a change in their own life.

This is my best foot forward. Now I will get out of the way.

Mountain Song Inn: A Slice of Heaven

I met my husband in the Spring of  2006, March I believe it was. In June, I packed my one suitcase and moved to Denver, Colorado for a summer long mission trip. Rick, my boyfriend of 8ish weeks, came to visit me and we really have been in love since.

From the start, with our busy lives, we always felt like we had to pencil each other into the other's schedule. We started off really good, keeping a long list of date night options on my fridge to pick from each Wednesday night. We went on fancy dates to The White Dog, quiet dates like a movie on the coach and fun dates like playing pool.

As parents, we find the toughest relationship is with each other. All of a sudden spending one-on-one time with our first son and also with our second take up the little bit of free time we have and what is left is spent as a family. Even the little bit of time Rick and I have had to ourselves has been spent catching up with friends we don't get to see much.

Relaxing is not my strong suit, on any account. All of my brain tumor drama, definitely helped me to slow down, readjust my priorities and remember what is truly important in life, but it didn't really successfully help me to relax.

To say our 5 year anniversary trip was long overdue is an understatement! 

And we could not have picked a better place.

Rick and I went to Mountain Song Inn with one objective - to relax. Chris and Andy (our amazing innkeepers) were aware of this, particularly after the health saga that seemed to never end and they were ready for the challenge!

The most relaxed I have ever been are those 30 minutes after completing a yoga session. I feel relaxed both mentally and physically.

Staying at Mountain Song Inn was like those 30 minutes but they lasted the entire weekend. It was the plush robe in the closet, the soaking tub with the most wonderful bath salts, the big comfy bed with the pillows with just the right fluff, the homemade map with exact mileage to each of our destinations and the amazing hummingbirds that I literally watched for 2 hours on a cold rainy day because I simply couldn't take my eyes off of them (I even had to take a video so I could show my son!). Every inch of every corner encouraged relaxtion. 

Upstairs, Rick and I were able to relive some of what made our courting days so great. A game or two of pool, checkers and we were even able watch a movie in the library over a bottle of our favorite wine. Even sitting on the porch and watching the rain was wonderful. The openness of Chris and Andy, their ability to be around just enough to make us feel welcomed without impeding on our anniversary celebration was amazing.

And the food, oh the food! Where to even start with the amazing 3 course breakfasts we had! From homemade pastries (ask for the peach danish) and the homemade yogurt with homemade granola to the delicious veggie frittata and the amazing dutch apple pancakes. The sweet potatoes with brown sugar and cayenne pepper were out of this world. Please don't ask me my favorite because it would be impossible to decide.

But the beauty and relaxation doesn't stop at the property line. The Inn sits quite close to a tiny town that has just about all you need, a pizza place, some micro brews and some live music. We were able to watch 10 year old fiddlers on the street and eat delicious local produce. We even found a really cool hand painted bamboo flute to bring back our oldest.

We went exploring and took a hike to the top of Buffalo Mountain and a ride down the Blue Ridge Parkway to see the beauty that is God's creation. It was nice getting out into nature for the fresh air and to remember all of the wonderful things we were able to do before kids.

I relaxed. More than ever before. Even little old me, who goes a mile a minute, keeps a to-do list for my spare time and can. not. sit. still. can say, our mission was accomplished, a weekend away, to focus on my relationship with my husband and take a much needed break. But more importantly, realized this is something I am capable of doing. It just happens to be icing on the cake that it happened to be at a slice of heaven.

Thank you Chris and Andy for making our weekend so memorable. There is no doubt we will return again.

Almost there!!

Checkers!

Hummingbirds!

Mountain Song Inn

Mountain Song Inn

Our French Country Room

Celebratory Champagne!

Butterfly Garden

View from the deck


Beautiful flowers!

Our homemade map!

Child size blue grass!

Red blaze trail

 Buffalo Mountain

 Atop Buffalo Mountain

Buffalo Mountain

Blue Ridge Parkway

Happy 5 year anniversary to us!!

Getting Over the 3-month Hump!

So when we made it to 12 weeks in Griffin's exclusively breastmilk diet were beyond proud. (As before, if you do not wish to read about nursing, stop reading now!)

Here we are another month later and still holding strong! There was about 10 days during month 3, I was one hungry baby cry away from going to Target to buy formula. 

I hate pumping. Like despise it. It isn't painful, just really annoying. The majority of my job is working on projects, large projects that require lots of focus with lots of planning and lots of organization. Already the environment I am in has constant interruptions, and with my office off-site and my current driving situation (just one month left!!), it is hard to pull myself from my work to find a quiet place to pump that won't interrupt my focus and productivity.

Some mothers pump and get as much or more than what their baby would get if nursing. Sadly, I am not one of those. My body doesn't respond to the pump the way it does to my baby. I have to pump double the amount of times he feeds to keep up. So when he was eating 3 bottles at school, I was pumping 6 times. Usually one or 2 were at home in between feedings. I was starting to get sick of pumping around the clock, even when I was with my baby just to keep up. Enter the 3 month growth spurt and there went almost my entire freezer supply.

When I unfroze the last bag of freezer milk, I accepted the end was near. We had made it further than we ever expected and we would be proud of that. I told Rick I felt like this might be the end of our nursing relationship and he as supportive as ever, reminded me that Griffin would be just fine.

But for some reason, I just couldn't bring myself to let go. We had already made it this far!!I read the 3 month growth spurt is the hardest point and if you could get over that hump you would be golden and things get so much easier after that. I just wasn't ready to quit. So I ordered fenugreek, made myself drink the required 64oz of water a day, tried to stay busy during my pump breaks so I would stop stressing about how much was coming out (apparently that has a psychological effect on your let-down) and started nursing Griffin right before he went to class so he wouldn't need as much expressed milk. One week later, we were finally making it all work. The end didn't feel so near anymore. But, I was still only making enough to have a happy baby and get through day by day. I still wasn't able to put anything in the freezer.

We have our 5 year anniversary trip planned in August which means leaving the boys for 3 days, which means I need 3 days worth of milk in our freezer by August 15th. I decided if I had to supplement for a weekend, as disappointing as it would be, I would because this trip is that important to us.

Then something miraculous happened. Griffin slept through the night. SIX HOURS of uninterrupted sleep. And then he slept through another night this time SEVEN HOURS. Then another and another. One week later (which was last night he slept TEN HOURS! He is feeding before bed sometime between 730-830pm then not again until 530-6am.  I have continued to pump before I go to bed sometime between 10/11 which is forcing me to take some time to myself and that milk goes straight to the freezer. It isn't much each day but we are getting there! I am hopeful we will have enough for our anniversary weekend.

The next growth spurt will result in cereal/baby food and then the start of weaning begins. I just can't believe it! I am feeling so elated we have made it this far but like everything else, so bittersweet our sweet baby boy is growing so fast. I am really growing to love my private time with Griffin now (which is sometimes propped up against a bathroom wall as if I am sitting in an imaginary chair), especially since it has opened my flexibility up be able to have mornings with my little dude.

I feel like we are (finally) past the worst of it and nursing is actually easier than bottle feeding. I am excited that Griffin won't be attached to the bottle like Cooper was (ugh, I cringe even thinking back to weaning Coop from the bottle). I am most excited we made it another month and if we make it to 12, that will be cool and if we don't, that will be okay, too.

Date with my Little Dude

I am proud to say we are coming up on yet another nursing celebration of making it one more month. During the growth spurt in month 3, I wasn't really sure we would make it, but we stuck with it and it is true what they say, it really is easier now. (The details with this deserve a separate post.)

Griffin's schedule has settled down, is way more predictable and now that he is only eating 4-5 times a day, it has opened my flexibility up dramatically to be able to do way more than stay glued to him and plan my life around his nursing schedule.

This morning, Griffin stayed home with Daddy and Cooper and I were able to spend the morning together, the ENTIRE morning, like from 830am-12pm which is the longest we have had alone and uninterrupted since before Griffin came. It was SO FUN!

We went to a superhero breakfast where we met we watched from afar because Cooper was too scared to meet the Hulk, Thor, Ironman and Spiderman! Because it was a patron only invitation, we also were able to play in the museum for an hour or so before it opened to the public which was really nice because it can get so crowded. Coop played in the water area for awhile before we changed to see the Superhero show!

Our date was completed with our favorite place, SUGAR SHACK, where we got the best donuts and even brought some home to Daddy, followed by lunch and a nap in mommy's bed. It was the perfect date with my little dude!

Settling the Whirlwind

Wow. What an absolute whirlwind the last 4 months have been, heck let's be real, the last 2.5 years have been. I finally am starting to feel like things are starting to mellow out.

Today, I received the results from yet another follow up MRI from all my drama back in February. This would be MRI #3 if you count the multiples I had during my first hospital stay as 1 (I think they ended up doing about 6 different series during that first round). The difference between the 3? Absolutely nothing. No change. That isn't a slight change or an insignificant change that is NO CHANGE.

Kind of amazing. (Thank you to all of you for helping make this happen with your support, positive thoughts and prayers.)

So this means my neurosurgeon officially said today he would call it a benign tumor. He threw some pretty big words around that I just couldn't wrap my brain (or brain tumor) around to remember but they referred to various benign and very mild tumors that could take many, many years to cause a significant problem, if ever. 

So I was told to come back next March and after that we would be looking at a 2 year break, possibly a 5 year break and then a "call me if something changes" break.

I just can't believe it. This day felt soooo far away back when I was focusing on being strong and the power of positive thinking. But I did it with an amazing support system and that raincoat of faith and here I sit, finally, blogging about the worst being behind us.

Our sweet Cooper has now had his adenoids removed (I may have forgotten to blog about that) and although we haven't seen a huge improvement, he definitely seems like he has more of his life back (as if the kid could get any more hyper) and Griffin is starting to meet his scheduled milestones, like holding his head up (better a little late than never) and his pediatrician is pretty confident he will catch up in no time. And now the cherry on our well deserved sundae is this news of my brain being okay.

It honestly still doesn't even feel real. Maybe because I worked so hard to logically process everything and focus on the things that made me happy, like the relationship that would bloom between Cooper and Griffin.

And it has. It is a beautiful, beautiful bond they have. The light on G's face when he hears C's voice for the first time each morning and the ginormous smile C has when he tickles G, oh man, it moves me to tears. Their bond actually deserves its on post starting from the moment they met in the NICU, but those moments are so worth every second of every awful moment that has occurred in the last 4 months and even the last 2.5 years. 

And once again, a tangible testament to add to my tool bag of tricks to hang next to my raincoat of faith to remember the answer when the going gets tough is always to focus on the good, the part I can control and let go of everything else. It really seems to be working and I am so thankful, so so SO thankful for every bit of this whirlwind that is finally settling down.

Happy 12 weeks Baby G!

Our sweet Griffin Scot is 12 weeks (officially tomorrow)!! I can't believe we are already here!

I think as parents, each passing day is so much more special than the one before and we truly forget how hard the first 6-8 weeks are, how much the goal is just survival. But we made it. Griffin is sleeping 5+ hour stretches consistently at night and spends most of his waking hours alert with lots of smiles and cooing.

This also marks 12 weeks of exclusive breastmilk! Please stop reading now if this makes you squeamish as this post is mostly about nursing... I am beyond proud we have made it this far and want to remember this for years to come.

Cooper and I only made it a about 5 days nursing and we started supplementing pretty early on with formula. I'd like to blame it all on the stomach bug I got around 8 weeks but truly it was the lack of knowledge I had. The first time around there is SO MUCH to learn. So much information, people's opinions, what is right and best and healthiest and it made it very difficult for me to give focus to every aspect of having a child. I have since learned, all of that is there the second time around as well but I am better able to tune it out.

Cooper is an awesome kid. Even had I been able to breastfeed him longer, I still believe we would've ended up in the ER countless times and I am not sure if I could go back in time and avoid all of that I would. We learned SO MUCH about parenting, sacrifices and fighting for our son. Rick and I learned a ton about our relationship with each other, things to hold on to and things that make us stronger and Cooper is and will be stronger because of all of it, stronger than any amount of breastmilk could've given him.

But this time around, I already knew how to hold a newborn and swaddle a newborn and change a diaper and function off of 2 hours of sleep so I went into this birth hoping to give more time and energy to nursing. Even with the recognition that I don't really think Cooper's path would've been much different, I still wanted to give Griffin the best shot I could not to have a repeat of respiratory problems.

When we found out Griffin was to be born at 35 weeks, I became super stressed. I was sure this would destroy any plans of nursing and that we should just give up before we began. Instead, I got proactive and educated myself. I took a breastfeeding class (that my wonderful husband attended with me) and stayed after to talk with the instructor, about what having a preemie would mean for our nursing relationship and why it was even more important I stuck with the plan. The biggest thing I learned from Cooper's birth was to focus on the things I can control and let go of everything else. I couldn't do anything about my brain tumor, I couldn't do much about the scheduled C-section at 35 weeks and I definitely had no control over whether Griffin would end up in the NICU or anything that would happen there. But as a mother, the choice to feed formula or breastmilk was my choice as long as my body allowed. It would be a lot of work but it was up to me.

Going into Griffin's delivery, I was very hopeful we would be able to nurse right after and begin this special bond that in my mind was accompanied with harps and singing and white flowy sheets blowing in the wind. Sadly, with the neonatal team waiting in the corner of the OR on the day that was supposed to just be pre-op testing (read Griffin's birth story here), I realized that was highly unlikely. I turned my attention and energy toward a healthy delivery (accompanied with a healthy seizure-free mommy) with the understanding that Griffin would end up in the NICU and that was going to be okay. It would all be okay. Everything would be okay, just as it always has been with Cooper and would always be with Griffin.

I started asking for a pump the moment I got to the recovery room. I asked every time I saw a nurse until they finally brought me one. I pumped every 2 hours the first 2 days to stimulate what Griffin would do if he was with me. I asked for a lactation consultant to advocate for me in the NICU and asked every nurse and doctor if today was the day they would let me nurse. Thankfully, when Griffin was able to keep his stats steady in a way that they never forced formula and even when he was finally allowed breast milk, he didn't have to have any kind of milk fortifier. When he finally turned the corner, they let us try nursing before every feeding. When I was discharged it was even more difficult because I couldn't drive nor could I be called on to arrive in minutes for another go. Even with the help of the nurses, we just couldn't get the hang of it.

On day 7, he was allowed to go home. Without the doctor's strict orders to have at least 40CC's per feeding, we were able to try nursing a little more exclusively. Each feeding resulted in a very hungry baby and a very sad and frustrated mommy. I turned to the bottle at every feeding. I kept telling myself it was okay though because he was still getting breast milk and he was home and healthy and all this while being 3 weeks shy of his due date!

We went to the pediatrician on day 9, 2 days after discharge to ensure he was gaining weight properly. I purposefully made the appointment with lactation specialist on staff in hopes she could give us some tips and build a relationship with us since preemies are said to take longer learning to breastfeed. She suggested we try a nipple shield which helps babies latch.

Griffin never needed another bottle again. My stress level went down because he could finally latch, I gained confidence and he gained weight. It still wasn't easy. During the first growth spurt, I really thought I would give up. And then again this one day when I barely ate anything and 24 hours later he was nursing more often than he did through that previous growth spurt (due to lack of calories). But we had already come so far, baby G and me, every time I thought I'd give up, we pushed through.

We reintroduced the bottles 4 weeks later to practice for my return to work. The first few were really hard on all of us, but by day 4, G had the hang of it and was still nursing very well. I was feeling more confident than ever.

The first week of work was great. G took bottles no problem and I was making what he needed. But during week 2, I just wasn't making enough. I added extra pumpings and a started drinking more water and just couldn't seem to keep up. By the end of week 2, I was sure we wouldn't last another week. And realized with the help of some wonderful friends I needed to relax and let go. And everything sort of fell into place after that.

Through this whole process I have learned a lot of things.

• Don't listen to anyone but yourself. I thought I had learned that before but realized with Cooper, I was breastfeeding because I was told I should. This time I wanted to breastfeed. This time was successful because my motivate gave me the determination it requires, especially for a working mother with a busy social life.
• Stress makes everything worse. My wonderful best friend has reminded me on several occasions that my pre-Griffin outlook was to breastfeed as long as my body allowed. Once we got the hang of it, I got so wrapped up in making it to G's first birthday, I forgot about that. The moment I started taking it one day at a time, the stress melted away and the breastfeeding went so much better. I am finding that each day I am able to provide this for my son is a celebration in itself.
• For us, there is no nipple confusion. G takes the paci when he wants comfort, the bottle when he is away from me and nurses great when we are together. The amount of milk he gets, the length of a feeding and the length between feedings varies breast vs. bottle but we have seemed to adjust to all of that as well.
• For the working moms out there, I learned that successful breastfeeding mothers have to pump at home during the week in order to make it all work. I have to pump in between feedings at home to make up the extra milk he drinks at school, which is easier now that he is sleeping such long stretches at night.
• All the things those baby sites say about not eating feta cheese while preggo and making sure not to get strollers that have high levels of BPA in them, simply don't matter. The same sites say that breastfeeding is this beautiful, wonderful bonding experience (hence the illusion of billowy sheets and harps) and some days I didn't even want to be in the same room as Griffin because all he would want to do is nurse. I found I just had to do what felt right. Sometimes what feels right in this moment doesn't feel right in the next, either. Breastfeeding just didn't work with Cooper and that is okay. It is okay that he was on formula and he is turning out to be one smart (almost) healthy kid.

I hope to make G's baby food and turn our whole family organic one day, but right now one more day of exclusive breastmilk is enough. I am learning to celebrate the small victories and to be just be proud of that. My goal of making it to March 26th just isn't as important as remembering to enjoy every minute of this crazy Rice life because boy is it flying by!

30 before 30 - May Update

I have already made long strides ...

1. Lose 20lbs. I am already 6lbs less than what I was beginning my pregnancy with Griffin, so I am excited to keep this momentum going and really making this a goal.
So far, I am 8lbs into this. I did however, decide I would like to change it to "Achieve and Maintain my ideal weight". When I wrote this originally  I hadn't done the proper research to know what that was yet. I have figured it out and its actually just a big more than 20lbs. Whomp... But that is okay, being healthy is important, especially with TWO BOYS! I also joined the gym! Hooray!

2. Take a 5 year anniversary vacation. This one is mostly complete in theory, just have to actually book it and go, Mountain Song Inn, here we come!

We are booked! We are excited! Now we just have to go. I am super excited about a long hike with the beautiful views, maybe even a winery is in our anniversary future so I can also check off #12.

3. Complete a 30 acts of kindness project with my boys. This may not happen until the actual day of my 30th. Although we are always looking for ways to share kindness with others, I would like to spend my birthday next year completing these acts all in one day. 
4. Take the boys camping at Crabtree Falls. I would really like to make this an annual trip as this was one of my most favorite places as a child.
5. Run the monument 10k. With my weight loss goals, hopefully this will be an easy one to check off.
6. Decorate our bedroom walls..finally. Using my pinterest boards and of course the beautiful photographs taken by the lovely Carmen of Carmen Doherty Photography. 
7. Learn to use my fancy camera. I know I will never be as good as a professional, but I would like to at least attempt to get some nice shots of those everyday moments that happen in a house with my amazing boys. I have some built in items on this list to help with this like #8, #14 and #18.
8. Complete a month photo-a-day challenge. One day, I will actually do a 365 day challenge... I think I may have planned to do it this year. Yeah, that was a little overzealous of me. This time we are going to attempt a month and go from there.
9. Start an edible garden. This one I will have to enlist my handy husband. Thankfully, Cooper is on my side, as he has asked Daddy to help him plant carrots and bananas!
10. Learn to knit. I have tried this about 100 times, this winter, I will actually do it and I can check "Knit a Scarf" off my bucket list, too!
11. Get a brother-sister tattoo. Bryan and I have been talking about doing this since I was 16. We are actually going to do it in September. Finally. It would be even cooler if we could convince Kaira to join, but I know tattoos aren't her thing! :)
12. Go on a wine tour. No, I can't believe I have never done this either. See #2.

13. Take a cooking class. Do I really need to explain this? This would make my husband's life.
14. Make an ABC photo book using family photos. I saw this on pinterest and LOVED it! Maybe I will get even fancier and make a family book like this one, too!
15. Learn to make baby food. There is my gift to my sweet Griffin and to our bank account. I'm doing the whole nursing thing and hope to stick with that for his first year and I would really like to give baby food a shot. I have the tools necessary, let's hope my determination is there, too. This will be the first real step (along with #9) to getting Rick on my healthy organic train. Who knows, maybe we will have our produce delivered weekly by my 30th birthday and have a compost bin with our edible garden (this would be lots of checks on my bucket list) but let's not get ahead of ourselves here...
16. Go somewhere I've never been. I wanted a few super vague ones to be left up to the right moment and time. I have decided this to be to try all the awesome new restaurants in RVA with my dear friend Lauren. I went to Lulu's for brunch for the month of May. (It was outstanding! -Get the red velvet waffles, the are to die for!). We are going to try a new place each month. It will be good for the belly and good for our souls.

17. Read a classic. In light of The Great Gatsby coming out, I have chosen it. I half read it in high school but I think I will appreciate it more now. My reward will be to see the movie!
18. Catch-up on the boys' photobooks. I know, I know, Coop is almost 3. Better late than never.
19. Make a new friend. Just felt like a good idea.
20. Throw Coop a birthday party that is triple the fun. He says he wants a train party or a dino party. It will probably change 100 times between now and August. Either way, it is going to be the best damn party. Ever. Poor guy hasn't ever had one.
21. Do something extremely out of my comfort zone. There are tons of quotes and cartoons that illustrate that you grow the most outside your comfort zone, which is the whole purpose of this, right?

22. Write/blog weekly. It's my therapy and a passion. I need it.  I am getting there. Adjusting to life with two and a full-time job and a full social calendar is pretty challenging but penciling the blogging is coming along, it just sometimes comes with a price and that is typically sleep!

23. Share my love for theater with Coop. Virginia Repertory Theatre does a lot of awesome shows and Cooper is finally old enough to go and begin appreciating live performance art. And I just discovered Go, Dog, Go is coming and that is Coop's FAVORITE BOOK. He has all kinds of back stories about all the dogs, in fact, we rarely read the words because he tells me those stories instead. I can't wait!!
24. Get a blog-lift. I am dying for this. I love this blog, but you sure can't tell.
25. Discover a skin regiment that works. I am almost 30. This has to be done so I don't look like I am in the wrong decade!
26. Learn to ask for help. It's time I learn that I can't do it all. I mean I did have seizure and the consensus is that it was stress induced. So if that ain't a sign, I don't know what is.
27. Say thank you to the St. Mary's NICU in a big way. I am the mean mom who doesn't let her kids get birthday presents... I think Griffin's birthdays will be centered around doing things for the NICU at St. Mary's and maybe March of Dimes in the future. Giving back starts at birth! :)
28. Bake a new recipe each month. I just love baking. And my coworkers and husband love when I do. Sounds like a win-win. I made 4 this month! It was teacher appreciation this month so I had lots of spoiling to do. They were delicious and got lots of great reviews, so they will go in my "Yes, these are worth making again" pile. If you are interested, I made these, these, these and this.
29. Plan regular kid-less date nights. I am not sure what regular means except to be serious about not forgetting the relationship I have with my husband separate from him being the father of my children. This is just as important as his role in my children's life and I think we forget this sometimes.
30. Choose joy. No explanation necessary. This one will never really be checked off and I feel like it is a pretty personal one. For me, its being the bigger person, controlling my own "weather" and always trying to look at the glass half full. I want to bring joy back to my consciousness to be the best person I can be.

Not to shabby for month #1. I am excited for this year and getting excited to turn 30!

My Sweet Cooper James

Oh Cooper, my dear sweet Cooper James. 

How does a mother sum up the beauty that you carry each and every day. The beauty that is your ease and trust and comfort in the face of distress. Usually it is my crazy motherly ways trying to explain to you for the 20th time why you must have yet another surgery, for yet another attempt to make all this sickness go away so that when the nurses come for you, you will walk away a little nervous but not scared and no peeling of those sweet little paint stained fingers will be required. 

Then when the doctor walks in and asks if you have any questions you say, "Nope, I am going to get the mask and take a nap, so you can take my boogers and  'not out my nose." Cool as a cucumber. And the first response of your neurotic loving mother is to cry because you are just so well adjusted. You handle everything in stride without too much worry (I suppose I worry enough for all of us). And as the tears begin to fall I am just so damn proud of you I could melt to bits, right there on the floor in the surgery center.

I am continually blown away each time I recall the past almost 3 years of my life. It is filled with some of the hardest moments I have ever had in this life. But with every rough point their is another equally bright tremendously brighter because of the beauty that is our dear sweet Cooper James.

My life is so much brighter (and so are my walls... floors... tables... and couches...) with you in it and boy are you going to put your mark on this world and I cannot wait to see what it looks like.

Happy 8 weeks Baby G!

I can't believe Griffin is 8 weeks today.

I can't believe how amazing Cooper is with him, with being a big brother, with understanding mommy doesn't always have enough sleep or patience or time in a day.

I can't believe how absolutely amazing the Infant Room teachers are at my school. Whatever special fairy dust they are sprinkling on Griffin to make him the best sleeper, they should bottle because they would make BILLIONS. 

I can't believe I have two kids. Boys mind you. I can't believe the exhaustion that is in my future but so excited about it.

I can't believe Griffin and I have made it 8 weeks nursing (although he likes the bottle at school, too. Which I also can't believe how easy of a transition that was for him). I hope we can make it a year. That would make me really happy, but even if we can't, I am so proud of what we have already accomplished.

I can't believe I am back at work, but so happy about it. I love being home with my boys, but I love missing them too. (Is that weird?). Plus, I can't help but LOVE when people comment on Cooper's intelligence or his verbal skills, none of which would be as advanced if it weren't for the time he spends in his classroom with his peers and teachers.

I can't believe how many kisses I have given sweet Griffin in the last 2 days and it still never feels like enough.

I can't believe how absolutely blessed we are. Man, what a long trip this has been, but things are getting better. Rapidly. The medical drama seems to be subsiding and we have gotten so many wonderful and positive things from all the bad. I am so proud of that as well.

Cooperisms!

Because there is nothing like a 2-year-old's version of reality!

Cooperism - On Moving Cakes with Heavy Machinery
(Cooper wakes up and comes to sit on the couch with me.)
Me: How did you sleep, Cooper?
C: Good. I move the cake.
Me: The cake?!
C: Yeah, the cake, Mom! I move the cake with my truck.
Me: Oh, what kind of truck?
C: A blue one.
Me: Oh, like a forklift?
C: Yeah!
Me: Then what happened?
C: I woke up! (like duh!)

Cooperism - On answering cell phones
(Scene: My phone is on the coffee table, I am sitting in the rocking chair with G across the room. Phone starts ringing...)
Me: Cooper, that is probably Daddy, will you bring me my phone?
C: (Looks down at phone.) Look, Mommy! There is Daddy. He is there! He is in the phone! Look! Mommy, Look!
Me: Cooper, focus, I need you to bring me the phone so I can answer it.
C: Oh, with the green button?
Me: Yes, Cooper. Bring. Me. The. Phone.
(Phone stops ringing.)
C: Oh, no! Mommy, Daddy's gone!
Yes, dear son, I realize that... :)

Cooperism - On Teacher Appreciation
C: Why we bake these?
Rick: They are for your teachers. Your teachers are good right?
C: Yep! Mm, mm, good!

Cooperism - On Becoming a Big Brother
C: Does your belly hurt?
Me: No, not right now.C: Giffin! Come out please please pleeeease!Me: He will so soon! Two weeks!C: Two weeks?! Me so cited!!!

Cooperism - On Pregnancy
C: Baby Giffin is in my belly!
Me: Oh yeah? Than who is in my belly?
C: The ocean!

30 before 30!

Boy, has my 28th year been a doozy! Tomorrow is my 29th birthday, which means the dreaded 30 is just around the corner. I am pretty ready to go out of my 20's with a bang by embarking on the ever so popular trend of completing a 30 before 30 list. So after careful consideration many middle of the night feedings with Griffin, I have prepared my list. Now it is your responsibility to hold me to it!

So here goes, in no particular order...

1. Lose 20lbs. I am already 6lbs less than what I was beginning my pregnancy with Griffin, so I am excited to keep this momentum going and really making this a goal.
2. Take a 5 year anniversary vacation. This one is mostly complete in theory, just have to actually book it and go, Mountain Song Inn, here we come!
3. Complete a 30 acts of kindness project with my boys. This may not happen until the actual day of my 30th. Although we are always looking for ways to share kindness with others, I would like to spend my birthday next year completing these acts all in one day.
4. Take the boys camping at Crabtree Falls. I would really like to make this an annual trip as this was one of my most favorite places as a child.
5. Run the monument 10k. With my weight loss goals, hopefully this will be an easy one to check off.
6. Decorate our bedroom walls..finally. Using my pinterest boards and of course the beautiful photographs taken by the lovely Carmen of Carmen Doherty Photography. (If you would like to take a peek at our album, you can view it here, password is rice2013.)
7. Learn to use my fancy camera. I know I will never be as good as a professional, but I would like to at least attempt to get some nice shots of those everyday moments that happen in a house with my amazing boys. I have some built in items on this list to help with this like #8, #14 and #18.
8. Complete a month photo-a-day challenge. One day, I will actually do a 365 day challenge... I think I may have planned to do it this year. Yeah, that was a little overzealous of me. This time we are going to attempt a month and go from there.
9. Start an edible garden. This one I will have to enlist my handy husband. Thankfully, Cooper is on my side, as he has asked Daddy to help him plant carrots and bananas!
10. Learn to knit. I have tried this about 100 times, this winter, I will actually do it and I can check "Knit a Scarf" off my bucket list, too!
11. Get a brother-sister tattoo. Bryan and I have been talking about doing this since I was 16. We are actually going to do it in September. Finally. It would be even cooler if we could convince Kaira to join, but I know tattoos aren't her thing! :)
12. Go on a wine tour. No, I can't believe I have never done this either.
13. Take a cooking class. Do I really need to explain this? This would make my husband's life.
14. Make an ABC photo book using family photos. I saw this on pinterest and LOVED it! Maybe I will get even fancier and make a family book like this one, too!
15. Learn to make baby food. There is my gift to my sweet Griffin and to our bank account. I'm doing the whole nursing thing and hope to stick with that for his first year and I would really like to give baby food a shot. I have the tools necessary, let's hope my determination is there, too. This will be the first real step (along with #9) to getting Rick on my healthy organic train. Who knows, maybe we will have our produce delivered weekly by my 30th birthday and have a compost bin with our edible garden (this would be lots of checks on my bucket list) but let's not get ahead of ourselves here...
16. Go somewhere I've never been. I wanted a few super vague ones to be left up to the right moment and time.
17. Read a classic. In light of The Great Gatsby coming out, I have chosen it. I half read it in high school but I think I will appreciate it more now. My reward will be to see the movie!
18. Catch-up on the boys' photobooks. I know, I know, Coop is almost 3. Better late than never.
19. Make a new friend. Just felt like a good idea.
20. Throw Coop a birthday party that is triple the fun. He says he wants a train party or a dino party. It will probably change 100 times between now and August. Either way, it is going to be the best damn party. Ever. Poor guy hasn't ever had one.
21. Do something extremely out of my comfort zone. There are tons of quotes and cartoons that illustrate that you grow the most outside your comfort zone, which is the whole purpose of this, right?
22. Write/blog weekly. It's my therapy and a passion. I need it.
23. Share my love for theater with Coop. Virginia Repertory Theatre does a lot of awesome shows and Cooper is finally old enough to go and begin appreciating live performance art. And I just discovered Go, Dog, Go is coming and that is Coop's FAVORITE BOOK. He has all kinds of back stories about all the dogs, in fact, we rarely read the words because he tells me those stories instead. I can't wait!!
24. Get a blog-lift. I am dying for this. I love this blog, but you sure can't tell.
25. Discover a skin regiment that works. I am almost 30. This has to be done so I don't look like I am in the wrong decade!
26. Learn to ask for help. It's time I learn that I can't do it all. I mean I did have seizure and the consensus is that it was stress induced. So if that ain't a sign, I don't know what is. 
27. Say thank you to the St. Mary's NICU in a big way. I am the mean mom who doesn't let her kids get birthday presents... I think Griffin's birthdays will be centered around doing things for the NICU at St. Mary's and maybe March of Dimes in the future. Giving back starts at birth! :)
28. Bake a new recipe each month. I just love baking. And my coworkers and husband love when I do. Sounds like a win-win.
29. Plan regular kid-less date nights. I am not sure what regular means except to be serious about not forgetting the relationship I have with my husband separate from him being the father of my children. This is just as important as his role in my children's life and I think we forget this sometimes.
30. Choose joy. No explanation necessary.

So there you have it. I really wanted to add some more items from my Bucket List like heading to New Mexico for the International Hot Air Balloon Festival but some things will be better enjoyed when Cooper and Griffin can enjoy them, too!