Cooperisms!

Because there is nothing like a 2-year-old's version of reality!

Cooperism - On Moving Cakes with Heavy Machinery
(Cooper wakes up and comes to sit on the couch with me.)
Me: How did you sleep, Cooper?
C: Good. I move the cake.
Me: The cake?!
C: Yeah, the cake, Mom! I move the cake with my truck.
Me: Oh, what kind of truck?
C: A blue one.
Me: Oh, like a forklift?
C: Yeah!
Me: Then what happened?
C: I woke up! (like duh!)

Cooperism - On answering cell phones
(Scene: My phone is on the coffee table, I am sitting in the rocking chair with G across the room. Phone starts ringing...)
Me: Cooper, that is probably Daddy, will you bring me my phone?
C: (Looks down at phone.) Look, Mommy! There is Daddy. He is there! He is in the phone! Look! Mommy, Look!
Me: Cooper, focus, I need you to bring me the phone so I can answer it.
C: Oh, with the green button?
Me: Yes, Cooper. Bring. Me. The. Phone.
(Phone stops ringing.)
C: Oh, no! Mommy, Daddy's gone!
Yes, dear son, I realize that... :)

Cooperism - On Teacher Appreciation
C: Why we bake these?
Rick: They are for your teachers. Your teachers are good right?
C: Yep! Mm, mm, good!

Cooperism - On Becoming a Big Brother
C: Does your belly hurt?
Me: No, not right now.C: Giffin! Come out please please pleeeease!Me: He will so soon! Two weeks!C: Two weeks?! Me so cited!!!

Cooperism - On Pregnancy
C: Baby Giffin is in my belly!
Me: Oh yeah? Than who is in my belly?
C: The ocean!