Momma called the doctor...

And the doctor said... Sounds like an ear infection, bring him on in.
So back to the doctor for Cooper's 5th sick visit (no one is counting!) in his short 3 month life (I can't believe he is almost 3 months!)
The doctor concluded that he might be teething but he probably is still feeling pretty crummy from the respiratory infection he had which was just 2 weeks ago.
He did however say that baby tylenol would be appropriate for helping with his cold symptoms in addition to teething symptoms, so whatever is going on should be helped.
Here's hoping this isn't a prelude to a lifetime of sicknesses! Or he might just need to live in a bubble like his accident-prone mom and K-9 brother!

So soon?!

Could my sweet baby Cooper be teething already?

It would explain so much...

After our agonizing stint in the hospital... Cooper stopped sleeping through the night (which he had been doing since he was about 7 weeks old).


At first, we thought it was leftover from his respiratory infection. He was still pretty congested and in the hospital he was getting up at really random times during the night.


But then his middle of the night feeding would be at 2:30am on the dot every, single night. We began to think that he was going through a growth spurt. But then during the day he wouldn't finish his bottles. Everything seemed to be a little awry.


Then all of a sudden, out of no where he started drooling like crazy. We are talking puddles and puddles of drool. Shortly after, lots of hand in the mouth, chewing on his paci, clothes, my finger, basically whatever he could get his mouth on. Then tonight the irritability... waking up from a deep sleep screaming only to stop as quickly as it started and passing back out.


Then it hit me. My baby is teething.


Which of course would make sense. This is the baby that could hold his head up on his birth day and was pushing all of his weight on his little chicken legs when he was 5 days old. It would only make sense for him to start teething before even hitting the 3 month mark.


Then I started thinking about his sweet gummy smile... and I imagined his smile with little baby teeth and of course started crying.


Are we already here? Is my sweet baby really almost 3 months? Really?


So, next to a laid back personality, we are going to have to add a little asterisk that reads "except when teething."


Oh boy, I was not expecting this so soon.

from the rice cache.

Found this while going through my photos on my phone. I think Coop was 4 or 5 days old. Look at that squished up face!

can't sleep,,,

Cooper is in his crib asleep. I am in my bed awake. 


Its is our first night home, Coop is breathing easier but apparently I'm still a little uneasy.
I have a confession to make. We swore up and down we wouldn't let Coop sleep in the bed with us. We haven't but...


One of us has slept on the couch with him almost every night. Might as well sleep with us right?


We tried over a weekend to force the bassinet but then he was said to have the tracheomalacia and the doctor explained he wouldn't be comfortable sleeping flat on his back so we went back to taking turns on the couch.

Night one in the hospital all I wanted was for him to be comfortable so our nurse Jessi kind of looked the other way when I held him all night.

Night two, our second night nurse Shannon got creative. She cranked the mattress up at a 45 degree angle and created a U shape out of blankets which she covered with more blankets to create a little nest. Coop's bottom rested on the U so he wouldn't slide down. Coop's trachea didn't have to fight gravity, he had better drainage and mommy didn't have to hold him all night. He didn't even sleep with his paci!

Night three, I was confident and didn't need any assistance getting coop situated in his nest and when Jessi came on shift in the middle of the night, she was not only surprised to see we were still there but that Coop was in his crib! (Shannon was very proud!)

I thanked Shannon for taking care of us but more importantly helping me figure this crib thing out.
So here I am awake in my bed while my sweet baby Coop is asleep in his big boy crib. Rick fixed it so it is at a 45 degree angle and we, too, made a U shape to keep him from sliding down. He has only slept in the crib for 4 hours at a time but as long as we are consistent he will get it. I think this crib thing will aid in maintaining a bedtime routine as well as his ability to self soothe and go to sleep on his own.

Just one more thing to add to our list of positives.

Finding the positives...

So anyone how knows me, knows how hard I try to find something positive in every person and every situation. 


So there I was, sitting in a hospital room, feeling like I could lose it at any point. My son could barely breathe and I hadn't slept in days, trying to remember everything happens for a reason...


What could possibly be the point of all of this?


Here is what I discovered...


I am strong. I am strong for Cooper. I am strong for Rick. When I am not strong, Cooper and Rick are both strong for me.


I have the most amazing support system. From my biological and in-law family to my church family to my friends I call my family to acquaintances that I only speak to via facebook and people who I hope to become closer with. We have more people who care about us and our well being than I will EVER be able to count.


Did I mention how brave my little man is? How tough he is? I learned that he really is a little man... not a little baby.


But I think the most significant thing is what I learned about my marriage. You don't know the depth of a person's love until you have to go through hell together. And we came out alive and more in love than ever.


Just in time for Thanksgiving. We have so much to be thankful for. So much.

We are home!

Cooper was discharged this afternoon!

He still gets noisy when he is upset or excited but that is going to happen no matter what due to the tracheomalacia. He is definitely himself again. They say it could take him 7-10 days to get over the infection completely but the worst is behind us.


We head back to the doctor on Thursday for a follow-up to be sure he is doing better.
We are going to have to be stricter about hand washing and being around sick people. Here is my advance apology if I deny your request to hold him. Respiratory infections are going to be worse on him than the average baby so its important to limit the germs as best as we can.

We are so thankful for all the thoughts, prayers and love. Thanks for being there for all of us.

Dear Cooper James

You are so brave.
I am so very proud of the sweet baby you are right now and the wonderful man you will grow to be. I already see so much positive personality in your sweet little self even at 11 weeks old.
You are proving to not only be a good sport but also a tough one. I have a feeling you are going to keep your daddy and I grounded with your positive attitude. Through this whole sickness, even at your worst, you have continued to laugh and giggle and remind us of how important the little things are. Your smile makes me melt.
I promise you, when you make a sad choice and we aren't very happy with you, I'm going to let it go. I'm going to let you have ice cream for dinner because of the brave boy that you are.
I love you through and through.
Love, Mommy

No news is not necessarily good.

We are still here. It is getting harder, I have to admit. Cooper's throat is so dry and sore, he barely has a voice left to cry. The little bit of sound he makes breaks my heart.
I feel like I'm running a marathon with no finish line. I've been holding it together but am starting to get really tired.
As soon as I start to melt down all I can think is about how we are lucky we live close. We are lucky he doesn't have a chronic illness. We are lucky we can afford care, that we have care offered to us. Then I feel guilty for being so upset when there are so many more babies worse off than Cooper.
I guess nothing makes watching your baby sick no matter how common or severe it is.
I guess all mothers (and daddies) go through these feelings just hopefully not so early in their baby's life.
I guess every mother wishes they could breathe in the bad stuff so their baby doesn't have to.
I guess deep down I know Cooper is going to be fine, there is a finish line and he will breathe easy again (and so will I).
That still doesn't make any of it easier.

My sweet baby is a trooper!

The pediatrician has decided to keep Cooper here another night. His breathing is still labored at times and he is extremely congested.
They have done a deep suction that sucks the mucous all the down to his lungs and a couple of suctions of his nose and throat that seem to have helped.
Because of all the mucous they now think it is bronchialitus instead of croup. But still believe he has tracheomalacia.
They will continue to monitor him throughout the night but are hopeful we will be able to leave in the morning.
He is being such a good sport through all of this. I sure do wish I could let him have a scoop of ice cream for dinner! :)

Cooper's first ER visit.

Yep that is right. We went to the ER yesterday.

Let me start from the beginning...
About 3 weeks ago, we started noticing some wheezing. Mostly, just when Coop was upset or excited. As the days went by we started noticing it more and more.
Two weeks ago, we went to the doctor. They checked Coop out and concluded it was probably a condition called Tracheomalacia aka floppy trachea.
There are ridges throughout your trachea that keep it in a cylinder shape (similar to a corrugated tube that you might use in your yard). With this condition, the cartilage hasn't finished forming so between 2 of the ridges it is floppy causing an occasionally obstruction in the airway is the person inhales.
This means laying down, eating, etc. Are more difficult because the trachea has to fight gravity.

So back to the story...
A week ago Cooper has his 2 month check-up. They said everything looked great and the wheezing sounded okay but most importantly wasn't interfering in anything.
So Thursday night Cooper started sounding really congested. Over the night it got way worse. We took him to the pediatrician and the nurse practitioner we saw said it sounded like croup. He got 2 nebeulizer treatments and seemed to be sounding better. We fed him before we packed up to leave (with our very own at-home neb).
Then, he started sounding worse and worse and as we made an appointment to come back for a follow-up a doctor pulled us aside to re-exam him. She concluded that because his chest was retracting for him to inhale and it seemed like he was using his own body to breathe it would be best if we went to the ER.

We headed to St. Mary's where they did a bunch more tests, 2 chest x-rays, 2 more neb treatments with a stronger medicine and an oral steroid. He didn't sound as good as they would like so they had us spend the night for more observations.
He started eating normally over night and seems to be sleeping a little better. At times he even breathes quietly. (At his worst, he sounded like a grown man snoring.)
They have concluded that he does in fact have tracheomalacia. They are still unsure if this particular episode is actual croup or a tracheomalacia flair-up caused by a respiratory infection.

What does this mean in the future? It means every little cold he catches is going to hit him harder, or at least sound like it.
It is my understanding 99% of children grow out of this and they go on to being healthy children. In very rare, severe cases they will refer children to see an ear, nose and throat specialist to officially diagnose and treat the condition.
We were being discharged today but Coop has since starting using his body to breathe again. They are keeping him today, possibly tonight just to be sure he is ready to go home.
Thanks for the love, prayers and support. We are so blessed to have an amazing support system.

Happy Monday!

My sweet handsome boy! :)

My baby skeleton!

So, Cooper's costume wasn't half as creative as mine I know. I chose practicality this year (the cheeseburger costume from old navy was in the running). With him being so small I figured we could save the uncomfortable costumes for the next 10+ years.

But he was rockin' some pretty awesome skull and crossbone sneakers AND socks!

I belong on 'I love the 80s!'

Yep, that's me. This here rubik's cube costume won't best overall costume. Prize = $50 which paid Rick and I's tab at Mulligan's! Happy Halloween!