The Blessing that is Maternity Leave

*Sigh*

Only 3.5 weeks left until I go back to work.

I am actually sad to go back to work. Yep, I said it. I know... Who am I?! 

But, going back to work means I have to give up my days of snuggles, baby games and naps. Of baking treats, both healthy and not so much, and having dinner ready when the boys get home. Of picking up the boys early to go to the park or CMoR or some other adventure we have planned (or not planned). Of the hubs getting home early and having a random day date (We haven't done enough of this by the way babe.) Of working out in the middle of the day and getting our chores done so that our weekends and evenings are about family. 

Trust me, I know how shocking this is...

I went back to work early for both the boys. I couldn't tell you how many times I have said, "I'm not cut out for maternity leave" or "I wasn't made to be a SAHM." And although I do miss my job, the wonderful staff I have and the KIDS (boy, do I miss all my kiddos!) I have really, really enjoyed this time.

I think a part of it is with my first, I had NO CLUE what I was doing. Before him, I never had really been in charge of a newborn. I knew babies from working in preschools but those babies were typically 8 weeks old before I met them. There is no real preparation for what life with a newborn entails, especially one that had so many respiratory issues.

With the second, well we all remember that drama. I was strongly discouraged not allowed to drive or be alone with my baby due to all the unknowns with my brain. We had a mother's helper who did the carpool shuttling so our oldest could still go to preschool part-time and who got us to appointments and anything else we wanted to do. But it just wasn't the same. My ego probably definitely played a part in that. I was sharing the work load with another person besides my husband, of getting my oldest to school and keeping him busy when I wanted to do it all and be the supermom I always dreamed of being. And there is just something about always having an audience. I wasn't the silly mom that I have been these last few weeks. Ya know that makes silly faces, and talks in funny voices because every conversation is one-sided and the goal is always to make the baby laugh. 

So this time around, following the best birthing experience, I was ready. Armed with my bag of newborn tricks, sleep training skills, and the confidence a mother needs to have three kids, I was adamant on enjoying my "free" time. And frankly, I have been having a blast.

So as I sit here with my sweet girl sleeping in her crib (first day, yay!) I realize I am really not the same mother I was 8 weeks ago and have learned so about myself in this short time.

-I actually enjoy cooking! It might be my control side because I know what we are eating and that it is healthy or the fact that it really fills my husband's bucket, but my confidence in this department has been my biggest growth area.
-I forgot how much I love to bake! And since I have been out of my baking frenzy for so long, I have enjoyed the added challenge of making things gluten free!
-I am so happy I rekindled my love for blogging. I have so many details from our life saved on this and I want to keep that up. I am sad it took me 3 years to really get back at it but at least I am back. I even have some exciting news to share on the blogging front, but it will have to wait!
-I can handle 3 kids just about anywhere. Well, 2 kids and a newborn. I know I still have so much more to learn here and we have MANY, MANY challenges to face (like zone defense) but so far, so good so I'll take it!
-If ever the opportunity presented itself to stay at home or be a part-time working mom, I might actually consider it. (Where's the jaw dropped emoji when ya need it?!?) This has definitely been the most surprising for sure, but also the most rewarding, as I have spent most of my adult life allowing my career to define me. I think with this shift in perspective, it will actually allow me to be more effective in my current professional role and whatever I am destined for in the future.

Every experience impacts who you are, every situation and especially every life event, but I had no idea how different I would be after this baby or how grateful I would be for how I have already been molded. It's like God knew just what I needed.

Funny how that works out.

Taken on one of AQ and I's adventures to Maymont.