And then there were 5! (Avery Quinn's Birth Story)

If you asked us as a young newlywed couple how many children we were planning on, we would've answered 3-4 kids. But following the Respiratory Chronicles of Cooper and the #tazmanianG saga, we were settled as a family with our two amazing boys. We felt very blessed. Everyone was finally healthy and we were happy.

Happy but not complete.

In the midst of the trouble we had in Griffin's pregnancy, it took me months and months to reflect on the effect it had on my dear sweet husband, the man who was at my side for every test, EEG, neuro appointment, every. single. headache. How could I forget to consider his feelings (other than the fact I had to drag them out of him!?) It wasn't until we were nearing Griffin's first birthday, did I realize how much I needed to talk about everything that happened and how much he simply couldn't. He had to face the thought of life without me, life without his partner in crime, the mother of his children and the woman, he would say, taught him how to be a dad. How could he do this without me? (It is important to mention that he doesn't give himself enough credit. He is an amazing dad, even without all the crazy early childhood knowledge I force him to practice!). And even though things ended up falling into the best case scenario bracket,  that doesn't replace those initial and terrifying feelings. Feelings that I (still) can't fully understand because I had the privilege of being the one it was happening to instead of the one who had to watch, which is actually the easier road I think.

So even if my doctor's EVER thought another child was in the cards for us, he just simply wouldn't couldn't.

They say time heals all wounds, right? 

Sometime in 2015, that feeling of incompleteness was more than obvious. Even Rick felt it. Maybe it was the fact that if we were going to have a third child, that was about the time we would start to think and plan for one. Maybe it was the fact that I was on the path to being the healthiest I had ever been in my adult life (21 day fix anyone?). My brain issues were frankly non-issues at this point (we aren't sure the reason for that either, but believe it has to do mostly with eliminating stress and gluten... and a lot with the power of prayer...more on that later) and I just couIdn't shake the feeling that there was supposed to be more to our family. 

Rick begrudgingly agreed to meet with my ob and neuro and see their thoughts. How would another pregnancy effect the "spot" on my brain? If something did go wrong, how would we handle it? What would be our plan of action the 2nd time around? I was on the boat of "If God wants us to have another baby, we will. God always finds a way." Rick was starting to head that direction when God's plan really did show. We were pregnant. Thanksgiving morning I told him the news as he got in from the grocery store, stocked with my favorite white wine. He was thankful for the news and even more thankful later to learn my doctors were very much on board.

Slowly we allowed the anxiety to come and quickly released it. This was happening and now officially our very last baby (I've had c-sections) and we wanted to enjoy it.

I have to admit there was a very small piece of me that held on to a bit of the anxiety, waiting for the #ricelife shoe to drop. But it never did. Myself, Rick, our two sweet boys and literally hundreds of people, including our family, friends, coworkers and even a small prayer group I was taking a class with at church, prayed away the anxiety.

And it worked. This pregnancy was the best of all 3. I didn't have a single issue the entire 10 months. I had perfect blood pressure and perfect weight gain. And on Wednesday, July 27th at 8:24am, our perfect baby, all 6lbs, 14 ounces and 19.25 inches, was born in the most peaceful delivery that I never even knew was possible in an OR.

I cry every time I try to explain this amazing calm that Avery Quinn brought the moment she entered her human experience. It was the deepest feeling of love I have had to date.
She is our missing piece, the last thing we needed to complete our family and the moment they laid her on my chest, I knew it. I felt it. Deep in my soul. It was a feeling I could never have imagined, even having experienced welcoming a baby into the world twice before. This feeling of oneness, of absolute completeness.

We were (finally) the family we had dreamt of, had hoped for. The family we believed could happen. The family that was possible through God's love, the love we have for each other and the love of those around us. 

And just like that, we were the perfect family of 5.

Image credit: Carmen Doherty Photography