I wish I had kept better track of my labels throughout this crazy Rice life so it would be easier for newer readers to read the Respiratory Chronicles of Cooper. Maybe one day I will sort all of my posts. But that is highly unlikely. So I guess I can start with SparkNotes version. (Do people even know what those are anymore??)
Our first respiratory issue resulted in Cooper's very first hospital stay when he was 11 weeks old. We had no idea that was just the beginning. I already feel myself wanting to tell the whole story, detail by detail. Instead, I will sum it up.
Cooper was diagnosed with Tracheomalacia based on symptoms by his pediatrician. Then, his ENT diagnosed Laryngomalacia and ruled out Tracheamalacia through a fiber-optic endoscope. Then, when the Laryngomalacia wasn't resolving itself as it should, Coop was referred to a pediatric pulmonary specialist where after many tests (including the scariest of all, a cystic fibrosis sweat test) Tracheamalacia was re-diagnosed. After recurrent pneumonia which resulted in 6 weeks of being admitted and discharged from St. Mary's last summer, a bronchioscope confirmed the Tracheamalacia as well as a foreign body trapped in the entrance to Coop's right lung, blocking 90% of the oxygen trying to get to his right lung and resulting in the inability to recover from pneumonia.
Phew! That was confusing. And that was the short story...
So since removing the foreign body and recovering from pneumonia, we have only had 1 additional case and about 1,000 colds (and this is an improvement!) Our treatment plan was 1 nebulizer of the highest dose of Pulmacort morning and night with 1 dose of Albuterol via nebulizer. Additional doses of Albuterol could be given every 4 hours to total 4 doses in one day, if necessary.
We have been hospital visit free since this past December. That is THREE months without an ER visit, not too shabby if you ask me! So our hope to figure out what the heck is going on with Cooper's lungs and trachea started to seem closer and closer. The medicine seemed to work but we just couldn't seem to kick the coughing and choking seemed to be happening more than we would like, not just on foods but on his own saliva, a few times, pulling over on the side of the road to get him out of his car seat.
This past Tuesday, we finally received a diagnosis. Based on his respiratory history, the current symptoms and the fact that Coop gets 1,000 colds and no one else in our house gets them, Cooper is thought to have... ASTHMA.
We figured this was in our future. We kind knew this was coming. And honestly, with our history, we are so glad it is something as simple as asthma.
We started a new medicine regiment, 2 inhalers (via spacer) of Qvar and Albuterol (2 puffs each) morning and night plus saline nose flushes and 1 spray on each side of Nasonex every night. This has turned our 25 minute medicine routine into a 6 minute routine. Coop is having a little bit of difficulty giving up the nebulizer (which is funny, since he HATED it before the introduction to inhalers) but I think it is because he can taste the medicine now.
Fast forward 72 hours and we all slept the ENTIRE night, no coughing, no stuffy nose, no breathing issues. This has probably happened less than the number I can count on my fingers. It was amazing. As much as I am not happy Cooper has asthma, it is so nice to finally have a plan in place that works. And I know Coop will get used to it eventually, but I am pretty excited about skipping the nebulizer treatments, not to mention not having to travel with all of that equipment. Plus, they say kids who have asthma early, grow out of it.
So after every test under the sun, we are finally somewhere. Cooper already seems a lot happier and we are all happier when we sleep. So glad to have this problem solved before Griffin comes. Now we can move on to all the other medical issues going on in our crazy Rice life!
Showing posts with label silver lining. Show all posts
Showing posts with label silver lining. Show all posts
Friday, March 22, 2013
Sunday, March 17, 2013
a little bit of this and a little bit of that.
We interviewed a nanny yesterday. We had exchanged about 20 emails back and forth so I was pretty sure she was a good candidate and was open to this temporary position since I do have plans of returning to work.
It was really weird. I have interviewed probably 50 teachers at my school but interviewing a nanny to care for my 2 son's and I in our home was a really strange thing.
I suppose mother's helper would be a better job title. I am going to be there and since I can't drive or be left alone with Griffin at this point in my diagnosis, hiring someone seemed like the only choice.
We met at the park so we could talk without interruption. (Coop has a tendency to pull every single toy out that he owns when someone new is around.) She is super sweet. Coop took to her very well; by the end of the interview, Coop was dragging her around to each play set. It was sweet. He even asked if she could come over and play!
So we talked for about 45 minutes and decided she was a good fit. That is one thing to check off our list of Grif preparations. Who knows, maybe we will fall in love with her and she could come work at our school.
In other news, we had a wonderful time at our buddy Cullen's first birthday party. Cullen has overcome so much in his short life and we were very happy to be able to celebrate with him. Coop played with some of his friend's at school and by the end was soaked in sweat and exhausted.
The VCU game was on so we drove straight to my mom's house to watch the second half. On the way there, Coop discovered a piece of chocolate in his goody bag, which neither Rick or I realized and when I turned to see why he was so quiet, this is what I saw.
A month ago, I would have pissed. I would've been upset at the mess of his clothes and car seat, etc. Don't get me wrong, I am all about making a mess but there is a way to control a messy environment and this wasn't it.
I suppose brain tumors have a way of changing one's perspective because all I could do was laugh. Both Rick and I just laughed in astonishment the rest of the way to T-ma's.
Needless to say, I was thankful for extra underwear. He went straight to the bath when we got to T-ma's and borrowed a t-shirt since we didn't have any extra clothes. He needed a bath from all the fun at Cullen's birthday anyway! Plus everything is worth it with a VCU win!
It was really weird. I have interviewed probably 50 teachers at my school but interviewing a nanny to care for my 2 son's and I in our home was a really strange thing.
I suppose mother's helper would be a better job title. I am going to be there and since I can't drive or be left alone with Griffin at this point in my diagnosis, hiring someone seemed like the only choice.
We met at the park so we could talk without interruption. (Coop has a tendency to pull every single toy out that he owns when someone new is around.) She is super sweet. Coop took to her very well; by the end of the interview, Coop was dragging her around to each play set. It was sweet. He even asked if she could come over and play!
So we talked for about 45 minutes and decided she was a good fit. That is one thing to check off our list of Grif preparations. Who knows, maybe we will fall in love with her and she could come work at our school.
In other news, we had a wonderful time at our buddy Cullen's first birthday party. Cullen has overcome so much in his short life and we were very happy to be able to celebrate with him. Coop played with some of his friend's at school and by the end was soaked in sweat and exhausted.
I suppose brain tumors have a way of changing one's perspective because all I could do was laugh. Both Rick and I just laughed in astonishment the rest of the way to T-ma's.
Needless to say, I was thankful for extra underwear. He went straight to the bath when we got to T-ma's and borrowed a t-shirt since we didn't have any extra clothes. He needed a bath from all the fun at Cullen's birthday anyway! Plus everything is worth it with a VCU win!
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| Pre/post chocolate mess! |
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| I guess he wasn't a fan of the t-shirt! |
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Lenten Challenge 2013
Lenten Challenge: Day 1 - Turning rain into sunshine!
I really enjoyed our 30 days of thanks. I may even make that a thing we do every year. So for Lent this year, we wanted to do something similar. The Kindness Project seemed like just the ticket! What better way to reflect on what it is like to be like Jesus than to do nice things for people and expect nothing in return.
Don't get me wrong, I totally get that Cooper isn't even 3. Does he even get it? Probably not, but I do think we will have stories and evidence to show him next year and the year after, so the sooner we start the better off he will be. I don't really think he got his pleases and thank yous when he was signing them, long before he could talk, but Rick and I are told what great manners he has, almost every day. Ya know, so something has worked!
So last night, all of my free time was spent gathering ideas of things we could do as random acts for kindness, like baking cookies for the postman and sending random "I love you's" to aunts and uncles. So I pinned a bunch of stuff and intended to make a list of all the things we would do.
Then, today Coop got sick, which turned into a day of this momma feeling sorry for the both of us because a 102 fever equals no Yo Gabba Gabba Live! Which is where we would've been right now instead of sick on the couch. My self-loathing took my focus away and I ended up being pretty down, completely forgetting our Lenten promise.
When I finally made the call that our evening plans needed to be canceled, my first thought was to try to find someone to give the tickets to, not to sell but to give. The tickets were a gift to Cooper and we should give that gift on to someone who was going to have as much fun as we would.
So I called one of Cooper's buddy's moms and she was thrilled. I know they are having a blast and that makes me really happy, makes me forget the sadness I felt that Coop and I weren't going to get this night together. [In fact, we got a text while I was writing this that said just that!]
So I was driving home tonight and realized I completely forgot about our Lenten promise. I didn't make my list of random acts of kindness nor did I even complete one. How could I fail the first day??
But then I realized sharing the tickets was a random act of kindness. It was done for no other reason than to be sure a family we love, had a good time. How could a fever on a rainy day turn into such a bright ray of sunshine? Well, that is just the way God works. Let go and let God and listen with an open heart!
And I realized that should be the point of our kindness project... We shouldn't plan a bunch of additional activities but instead search for opportunities to be kind to others each day. I think what may end up happening is that we will end up doing way more than 1 act a day. And maybe, just maybe changing, even if just a bit, to be a little more like Jesus. I am pretty sure that is the point of Lent.
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
i love someone with a floppy larynx!
The timing just doesn't get better than this...
I went down the path of google searches that I mentioned in my last post and I came across this.
This could not have come at a better moment, it brought a smile that was beyond necessary. It is just a shame they are out of stock! :)
I went down the path of google searches that I mentioned in my last post and I came across this.
(product & photo credit: http://www.copingwithlm.org)
This could not have come at a better moment, it brought a smile that was beyond necessary. It is just a shame they are out of stock! :)
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
little Darth Vader boy
Cooper, my dear sweet, little Darth Vader boy.
I have gotten so used to the staring that I am not even sure it still happens. Occasionally in a moment of weakness, I will look around to see. To see those moms who hold their children close, far away from my child who sounds like he has the worst case of RSV known to man.
It used to make me cry to think about it. I remember sitting in an exam room at the ENT office andasking begging our doctor to do the surgery that could correct it, with thoughts of a teen-aged Cooper trying to ask a girl on a date with this heavy, intense breathing...
Herefused of course kindly explained that even if he thought it were a good idea (which he didn't) there wasn't any way insurance would cover such a surgery unless it was interfering with his ability to thrive (which is obviously a non-issue). But when does self-esteem factor into this? How do you assess the impact of those mean kids that are everywhere... they ones with those judgmental moms.
I am 28 years old, a college graduate, am making an awesome career for myself and have crossed over more obstacles than I can count in my years. I have years of grooming, both emotionally and spiritually, to make me bigger than something like noisy breathing. I STILL allow others to affect my weather with their judgmental stares (how dare she bring a sick child like that out in public!) But my son? No, not my sweet son. How can I possibly allow him to grow up like this?
Today, I attempted to explain this to our doctor. Not because I am still on the surgery train, but because I just wanted him to see how sad it makes me. I just wanted him to understand. As soon as I told him I was considering what life would be like for a 6 year old breathing like this, that I was mostly over the staring but I couldn't possibly expect Cooper to be. Dr. Brager whipped around in his chair, looked me dead in the face and said, "He. Will. Not. Sound. Like. This. We. Will. Solve. This. And in the meantime, Cooper can just beat them up."
And its true. He can. He is a healthy, beautiful, smart boy. He is doing everything he should be doing. He is sweeter than pie and is as rad as the 80s. What does it matter if he sounds like this? Grandad says, he will have an advantage over his fellow football players because his opponents will be scared shitless... Oh Grandad...
But he won't. He won't beat them up. He is far too sweet for that. He won't even notice them. He will think the moms are weird and the kids are weirder and will still walk up to them with a love knuckle fist, waiting to make a friend. He will remind mommy that I am the only one who cares that people stare, I am the only one that even notices. And if he ever does pay attention, if he ever realizes, I will let him beat them up. Just like Darth Vadar would.
I have gotten so used to the staring that I am not even sure it still happens. Occasionally in a moment of weakness, I will look around to see. To see those moms who hold their children close, far away from my child who sounds like he has the worst case of RSV known to man.
It used to make me cry to think about it. I remember sitting in an exam room at the ENT office and
He
I am 28 years old, a college graduate, am making an awesome career for myself and have crossed over more obstacles than I can count in my years. I have years of grooming, both emotionally and spiritually, to make me bigger than something like noisy breathing. I STILL allow others to affect my weather with their judgmental stares (how dare she bring a sick child like that out in public!) But my son? No, not my sweet son. How can I possibly allow him to grow up like this?
Today, I attempted to explain this to our doctor. Not because I am still on the surgery train, but because I just wanted him to see how sad it makes me. I just wanted him to understand. As soon as I told him I was considering what life would be like for a 6 year old breathing like this, that I was mostly over the staring but I couldn't possibly expect Cooper to be. Dr. Brager whipped around in his chair, looked me dead in the face and said, "He. Will. Not. Sound. Like. This. We. Will. Solve. This. And in the meantime, Cooper can just beat them up."
And its true. He can. He is a healthy, beautiful, smart boy. He is doing everything he should be doing. He is sweeter than pie and is as rad as the 80s. What does it matter if he sounds like this? Grandad says, he will have an advantage over his fellow football players because his opponents will be scared shitless... Oh Grandad...
Friday, August 5, 2011
Wouldn't change a thing!
Usually I am excited to go to the doctor. We find out how much Coop has grown and they often spend a solid 5 minutes of our 15 minute visit talking about how beautiful/handsome he is (which they probably say to all the moms but I believe it anyway!)
I don't even mind the shots so much now because Coop handles them like a champ and I know how important they are especially for a kid that catches EVERYTHING!
But the ENT is a different story. As you have read before, the throat scope is definitely heavy on the heart. I am not too proud to admit that I don't like to handle this on my own. Even with someone there to support me (usually my dad) I still have a hard time keeping it together.
But... today they skipped the scope! I couldn't have been happier. Even with my dad's muscles and the nurse's help, it is difficult to hold him down for the physically painless procedure and often times even more difficult to watch. I could've cried that we, Coop especially, didn't have to go through that once again.
I asked the doctor about the incessant cough that Coop has, even on his healthiest days. He thinks it might be linked to reflux so they are putting him on a daily medication that should help.
He also said that Cooper still has a significant amount of fluid in his ears which explains his regular ear infections. He is pretty sure Coop will get another one once cold season hits in which case he thinks tubes are the best choice.
When they first brought tubes up, I was fine but that was when I thought it was a procedure only requiring a local. Today the doctor said they would have to put him to sleep for the procedure. I'm pretty sure the doctor saw the sadness in my eyes because he was quick to tell me they do it all the time and not to worry.
I feel way more confident in our choice of doctor now that we have built a relationship with him. I am starting to feel like Dr. Brager remembers Cooper and his symptoms which makes me trust his opinions and the prognosis. We go back in 8 weeks unless an ear infection comes first. And we will cross those bridges when we get there.
Fingers remain crossed for some improvement in his stridor, because so far it seems pretty stagnate. The outlook is that at 12-18 months we should start hearing a difference (the window keeps getting extended...)
I have to admit, I am starting to get really sick of people assuming he is sick and congested. Honestly, I prefer you to ask why he sounds this way instead of giving me judgmental looks and pulling your own children away like he is a leper (you won't catch it I swear).
I said a long time ago that this would probably resolve itself the minute I let go. Not only letting go of what people think but also letting go of the feeling of constantly wanting to explain. Guess I still have some work to do.
Until then I am going to enjoy my sweet little squeak toy who is definitely more a toddler than a baby, with all the fickleness and attitude that comes with it. And remind myself that even with all of these throat scopes and ENT visits and awful stares... I would not change a thing about my sweet baby coop.
I don't even mind the shots so much now because Coop handles them like a champ and I know how important they are especially for a kid that catches EVERYTHING!
But the ENT is a different story. As you have read before, the throat scope is definitely heavy on the heart. I am not too proud to admit that I don't like to handle this on my own. Even with someone there to support me (usually my dad) I still have a hard time keeping it together.
But... today they skipped the scope! I couldn't have been happier. Even with my dad's muscles and the nurse's help, it is difficult to hold him down for the physically painless procedure and often times even more difficult to watch. I could've cried that we, Coop especially, didn't have to go through that once again.
I asked the doctor about the incessant cough that Coop has, even on his healthiest days. He thinks it might be linked to reflux so they are putting him on a daily medication that should help.
He also said that Cooper still has a significant amount of fluid in his ears which explains his regular ear infections. He is pretty sure Coop will get another one once cold season hits in which case he thinks tubes are the best choice.
When they first brought tubes up, I was fine but that was when I thought it was a procedure only requiring a local. Today the doctor said they would have to put him to sleep for the procedure. I'm pretty sure the doctor saw the sadness in my eyes because he was quick to tell me they do it all the time and not to worry.
I feel way more confident in our choice of doctor now that we have built a relationship with him. I am starting to feel like Dr. Brager remembers Cooper and his symptoms which makes me trust his opinions and the prognosis. We go back in 8 weeks unless an ear infection comes first. And we will cross those bridges when we get there.
Fingers remain crossed for some improvement in his stridor, because so far it seems pretty stagnate. The outlook is that at 12-18 months we should start hearing a difference (the window keeps getting extended...)
I have to admit, I am starting to get really sick of people assuming he is sick and congested. Honestly, I prefer you to ask why he sounds this way instead of giving me judgmental looks and pulling your own children away like he is a leper (you won't catch it I swear).
I said a long time ago that this would probably resolve itself the minute I let go. Not only letting go of what people think but also letting go of the feeling of constantly wanting to explain. Guess I still have some work to do.
Until then I am going to enjoy my sweet little squeak toy who is definitely more a toddler than a baby, with all the fickleness and attitude that comes with it. And remind myself that even with all of these throat scopes and ENT visits and awful stares... I would not change a thing about my sweet baby coop.
Saturday, June 18, 2011
lazy saturday!
I owe a few blog posts. One on Coop's first trip to Chicago and one on how he has really started signing. I should probably write a post about how I started on Coop's year one photo book and I had to quit because I cried about the thought of my sweet baby coop turning a year old! Oh, and I can't leave out the first stare down that Coop and I had today over him banging on our DVD player and not liking the fact that I said no.
But right now, I am enjoying the fact that we had a lazy saturday. One that had absolutely no plans or commitments, something that we haven't had in a long time. And I am celebrating the fact that Coop slept 8+ hours the last 3 nights and has eaten mostly table food this whole weekend.
But right now, I am enjoying the fact that we had a lazy saturday. One that had absolutely no plans or commitments, something that we haven't had in a long time. And I am celebrating the fact that Coop slept 8+ hours the last 3 nights and has eaten mostly table food this whole weekend.
So the blogs will come, all those moments will be memorialized. But for right now, I am enjoying the last few moments of this lazy saturday with the most wonderful boys a girl could ask for!
Ps. Happy Father's Day (tomorrow) to the Most Wonderful Father I know.
Friday, June 10, 2011
still my little squeak toy!
We went to the ENT back in March to get a clearer picture (literally) of Cooper's noisy breathing a.k.a. his stridor. Today was our follow up visit and definitely didn't go as well as hoped.
The doctor had hoped we would notice significant improvements over the last 3 months and that he wouldn't even have to re-scope him. Sadly, that was not the case.
In fact, during this second scope, they also discovered yet another reason why his breathing is so noisy. He also has a mild case of subglottic stenosis a.k.a. narrowing of the airway. So not only is his voicebox's cartilage weak and floppy but his vocal cords are narrower than average, both of which contribute to the stridor.
What does this mean? Well, it means we will be going to the ENT every 3 months until there is some significant change. It means we have to be extra careful about food allergies because the reactions could be life threatening for Cooper. It means Cooper is going to remain our human squeak toy until about 3 or 4 and will probably have to sit out of quiet games like sardines and hide-n-seek. (Thankfully surgery doesn't seem to be a concern unless it starts to worsen or interferes with his development.)
So hopes of Coop not remembering all of this are sort of evaporating. In fact, when we walked into the dimly lit procedure room where they do the scope, Cooper flipped out, like he knew or remembered something bad was going to happen.
But it could be worse. He could be refusing food, having difficulty swallowing and this could interfere with his ability to thrive. And it's not. He is definitely a healthy, growing, strong boy, with more perseverance than I have seen in a baby.
I am confident his thriving will continue and that one day he will be able to play hide-n-seek with his friends! :)
The doctor had hoped we would notice significant improvements over the last 3 months and that he wouldn't even have to re-scope him. Sadly, that was not the case.
In fact, during this second scope, they also discovered yet another reason why his breathing is so noisy. He also has a mild case of subglottic stenosis a.k.a. narrowing of the airway. So not only is his voicebox's cartilage weak and floppy but his vocal cords are narrower than average, both of which contribute to the stridor.
What does this mean? Well, it means we will be going to the ENT every 3 months until there is some significant change. It means we have to be extra careful about food allergies because the reactions could be life threatening for Cooper. It means Cooper is going to remain our human squeak toy until about 3 or 4 and will probably have to sit out of quiet games like sardines and hide-n-seek. (Thankfully surgery doesn't seem to be a concern unless it starts to worsen or interferes with his development.)
So hopes of Coop not remembering all of this are sort of evaporating. In fact, when we walked into the dimly lit procedure room where they do the scope, Cooper flipped out, like he knew or remembered something bad was going to happen.
But it could be worse. He could be refusing food, having difficulty swallowing and this could interfere with his ability to thrive. And it's not. He is definitely a healthy, growing, strong boy, with more perseverance than I have seen in a baby.
I am confident his thriving will continue and that one day he will be able to play hide-n-seek with his friends! :)
Sunday, May 1, 2011
upside to everything.
Our doctor was able to get Coop in at 8:45 this morning. His fever was up to 102.6 last night so we were sure a sick visit was in order. I am so thankful for an amazing practice who would rather see my baby on a Sunday than send us to KidMed.
After a quick assessment and a strep test, our doctor concluded that he has a virus of the coxsackie kind, ie. yet another waiting game! Ya know, lots of fluids, tylenol and ibuprofen. Great! (Can you sense my sarcasm?)
The virus usually consists of 3-4 days of fever and blisters in the mouth and throat. She said not to be surprised if it gets worse tomorrow. Even better! (Now you gotta hear my sarcasm!)
Today there is an additional treatment that we haven't gotten before... our lucky (sick) duck also gets sherbet to soothe his throat, doctors orders. There truly is an upside to everything.
After a quick assessment and a strep test, our doctor concluded that he has a virus of the coxsackie kind, ie. yet another waiting game! Ya know, lots of fluids, tylenol and ibuprofen. Great! (Can you sense my sarcasm?)
The virus usually consists of 3-4 days of fever and blisters in the mouth and throat. She said not to be surprised if it gets worse tomorrow. Even better! (Now you gotta hear my sarcasm!)
Today there is an additional treatment that we haven't gotten before... our lucky (sick) duck also gets sherbet to soothe his throat, doctors orders. There truly is an upside to everything.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
positive people with a splash of 80s
Sadly, there are always those people who try to rain on your parade. Ya know those unhappy people I am talking about... Whether its snarky comments under their breath or extremely mean ones behind your back, they are there. I try to stay focused and remember that I am doing what I do best and shouldn't let those negative people or their thoughts effect me. Some days are definitely easier than others and when I am tempted to stoop to their level I read my favorite Mother Teresa quote.
People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God; it was never between you and them anyway.
Because it really isn't about my relationship with anyone else but God. But surrounding myself with positive people and their positive vibes (with a splash of 80's music) doesn't seem to hurt at all!
People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God; it was never between you and them anyway.
Because it really isn't about my relationship with anyone else but God. But surrounding myself with positive people and their positive vibes (with a splash of 80's music) doesn't seem to hurt at all!
Monday, March 28, 2011
Savor The Season!
We are going on about day 10 of no sleep (we did have one 8-hour day in there, but that was 5 days ago). We are talking 45 minutes max and about 2 hours in the no rule zone (as in sleeping on the couch with baby in hopes that by breaking one simple rule you won't kill you husband the next day- or visa versa...yeah about that..)
We had plenty to keep us distracted with the NCAA tournament but today was the true test. Back to school on no sleep (if only that could be an exaggeration!).
Utterly exhausted doesn't cover it. It was one of those days that I was happy to take a break from my fussy child and hang out with my 4 and 5 year olds that can usually figure out what's upsetting them.
So I get home with ambitious thoughts about breaking our cycle of exhaustion. Until the inconsolable crying sets in. Again. It feels like we have a newborn again.
We finally give up on feeding Coop dinner. We try a bottle, tylenol,
Sophie, orejel, cold teethers, teddy, lovie, mommy, daddy and nothing is working. Check his temp 98.6. Are you sensing my frustration yet?
And then I give up. Rub his back, tell myself I've tried everything and try to stay mellow because he is feeding off my energy. I take a bite of my pizza (frozen kind since no one has gotten sleep, not even Fletch) and it tastes like cardboard.
I lost it. The flood gates opened, full on crocodile tears start pouring out. My pizza tasted like cardboard and I lost it. Emotionally spent, patience drained, so done. Super mom turned super sob.
And while I'm losing it, I don't even realize Coop has stopped crying and is passed out and I mean PASSED OUT on my shoulder.
Its so beyond bedtime... Its bedtime 10 days late. I grab my Southern Living that came in the mail so I can peel that ugly paper cover that comes on it so it will be all ready for me tomorrow (with that giant bottle of wine).
I pull the paper off to see its beautiful Spring cover and its yummy brunch spread with delicious ham biscuits and orange juice cocktails. And I smile. How ridiculous!
Ahhh thank you Southern Living for showing up with impeccable timing. I will savor the season and the extra moments to snuggle with my sweet baby, the cardboard pizza, the teething, the inconsolable crying, even the laryngomalacia. I will savor everything because I am so blessed to have it all.
We had plenty to keep us distracted with the NCAA tournament but today was the true test. Back to school on no sleep (if only that could be an exaggeration!).
Utterly exhausted doesn't cover it. It was one of those days that I was happy to take a break from my fussy child and hang out with my 4 and 5 year olds that can usually figure out what's upsetting them.
So I get home with ambitious thoughts about breaking our cycle of exhaustion. Until the inconsolable crying sets in. Again. It feels like we have a newborn again.
We finally give up on feeding Coop dinner. We try a bottle, tylenol,
Sophie, orejel, cold teethers, teddy, lovie, mommy, daddy and nothing is working. Check his temp 98.6. Are you sensing my frustration yet?
And then I give up. Rub his back, tell myself I've tried everything and try to stay mellow because he is feeding off my energy. I take a bite of my pizza (frozen kind since no one has gotten sleep, not even Fletch) and it tastes like cardboard.
I lost it. The flood gates opened, full on crocodile tears start pouring out. My pizza tasted like cardboard and I lost it. Emotionally spent, patience drained, so done. Super mom turned super sob.
And while I'm losing it, I don't even realize Coop has stopped crying and is passed out and I mean PASSED OUT on my shoulder.
Its so beyond bedtime... Its bedtime 10 days late. I grab my Southern Living that came in the mail so I can peel that ugly paper cover that comes on it so it will be all ready for me tomorrow (with that giant bottle of wine).
I pull the paper off to see its beautiful Spring cover and its yummy brunch spread with delicious ham biscuits and orange juice cocktails. And I smile. How ridiculous!
Ahhh thank you Southern Living for showing up with impeccable timing. I will savor the season and the extra moments to snuggle with my sweet baby, the cardboard pizza, the teething, the inconsolable crying, even the laryngomalacia. I will savor everything because I am so blessed to have it all.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
two-hour naps?!
A high school friend of mine (who also happens to be the mother of one of the girls Cooper has play dates with) posted a blog about how they are getting their groove back.
After reading it I realized we too have been out of our groove.
So one of the things the ENT suggested was that Cooper should be sleeping on a flat crib mattress (from our hospital stay in November up until the ENT visit, Coop had been sleeping at a 45 degree angle).
Well, we have gotten used to our sleep. It is very rare that Cooper wakes up in the middle night for anything and has been this way since we got over that awful respiratory virus. He has been known to wake up for a bottle, but usually just when he is trying to tell us he would like another solid meal during the day. So you can understand my hesitation to make ANY sleeping arrangement changes.
So we decided with this weekend being mellow (which I use VERY loosely, our mellow is WAY busier than the average mellow) we decided if we were going to need to break him of his inclined sleeping position (especially if it was to provide better sleep for him) that the sooner we do it the better.
Easier said than done. Friday night he was up about every 2 hours. I don't know if it was because he was confused with the now in plain sight crib bumpers, the abundant amount of space or the free range of movement but he was up all night. It seemed like every natural jerk or dream had him screaming.
Saturday was not much easier, but thankfully Rick took most of it realizing how absolutely exhausted I was from the night before.
I know, I know... with a baby, you get used to not having sleep. I was used to it. When he wasn't sleeping. But then one gets used to getting sleep again and it is hard to go back to the sleep deprivation.
And then Sunday night came.
Cooper woke up once. ONCE. Which consisted of Mommy walking into the room, realizing he was half asleep and too tired to roll to his belly. I flipped him the rest of the way over. He passed out. Until 5:30am (his usual time)!
I think I checked the monitor 4890824932 times to make sure he was breathing.
Next up- the pacifier (that thankfully is only an aide to falling asleep and nothing else. Might as well knock that out too right?)
One can only hope tonight goes as well. Because I am sure not ready to go back to 2 hour naps during the night.
After reading it I realized we too have been out of our groove.
So one of the things the ENT suggested was that Cooper should be sleeping on a flat crib mattress (from our hospital stay in November up until the ENT visit, Coop had been sleeping at a 45 degree angle).
Well, we have gotten used to our sleep. It is very rare that Cooper wakes up in the middle night for anything and has been this way since we got over that awful respiratory virus. He has been known to wake up for a bottle, but usually just when he is trying to tell us he would like another solid meal during the day. So you can understand my hesitation to make ANY sleeping arrangement changes.
So we decided with this weekend being mellow (which I use VERY loosely, our mellow is WAY busier than the average mellow) we decided if we were going to need to break him of his inclined sleeping position (especially if it was to provide better sleep for him) that the sooner we do it the better.
Easier said than done. Friday night he was up about every 2 hours. I don't know if it was because he was confused with the now in plain sight crib bumpers, the abundant amount of space or the free range of movement but he was up all night. It seemed like every natural jerk or dream had him screaming.
Saturday was not much easier, but thankfully Rick took most of it realizing how absolutely exhausted I was from the night before.
I know, I know... with a baby, you get used to not having sleep. I was used to it. When he wasn't sleeping. But then one gets used to getting sleep again and it is hard to go back to the sleep deprivation.
And then Sunday night came.
Cooper woke up once. ONCE. Which consisted of Mommy walking into the room, realizing he was half asleep and too tired to roll to his belly. I flipped him the rest of the way over. He passed out. Until 5:30am (his usual time)!
I think I checked the monitor 4890824932 times to make sure he was breathing.
Next up- the pacifier (that thankfully is only an aide to falling asleep and nothing else. Might as well knock that out too right?)
One can only hope tonight goes as well. Because I am sure not ready to go back to 2 hour naps during the night.
Friday, March 11, 2011
My Human Squeak Toy
Anyone that has been around Cooper or is friends with me on facebook knows and has probably seen videos of my human squeak toy. There is even a name for it, we found out back in November in the ER.
But things aren't apparently that easy...
Cooper goes to bed around 8pm every night. Occasionally he will wake up between 1-4 for a bottle but usually it is him telling us he needs more baby food. But if he is up all night- something is going on.
About 2 weeks ago Cooper went to bed like usual and woke up around 10:30pm screaming at the top of his lungs. The rest of the night he only slept for 45 minutes at a time and by 4am a fever showed up. By the morning, he wouldn't let you near his ears. So we rushed to the doctor first thing (for his march sick visit - cause the kid goes every month!).
We go to Pediatrics Associates of Richmond, which also happens to be the same practice I attended from birth - 18 years. I remember when this doctor we were scheduled to see started working at the practice... but I suppose that is unimportant.
He basically said that he thought it was crazy that I hadn't taken Cooper to an ENT specialist and planted many seeds of doubt in the originial, unofficial diagnosis. He was concerned that Cooper could have an abscess or a growth and we wouldn't have any idea because it was never definitely diagnosed (although it was HIS PARTNERS that told us an ENT consultation wasn't necessary.)
Needless to say, the doctor said Cooper did in fact have an ear infection and he suggested a couple ENTs along with his script.
So we went to see the an ENT this morning. I will skip the part about how we had to wait an hour to see a doctor and the part about how nobody seemed to think they were unprofessional (for making us wait without any heads up and getting a 6 month old baby completely off of his schedule) and move straight to the important part.
They used a scope, not any more invasive than the tubes they used for the deep suctioning in the hospital (i.e. no sedative or straight jacket necessary, thank God!) and were able to watch Cooper's throat and voice box move as he breathed and cried.
The conclusion... Cooper does not have Tracheomalacia but actually Laryngomalacia (great a whole new word to train myself to say!). The difference is apparently very small since, none of the doctors we have seen until today have corrected us (probably a total of 10).
What does this change? Nothing really but now we can confident that we know what is going on. Now that I have seen the movement of his larynx while listening to him breath, I feel waaay more confident that I will be able to assess a more serious situation should that arise. I know what to listen for and I know what should cause concern.
They want us to go back in June to look at his larynx again to be sure it is improving but the doctor seems to think all should be well by 12 months.
So bittersweet to think my sweet baby Coop won't always be my SQUEAKY baby Coop!
But things aren't apparently that easy...
Cooper goes to bed around 8pm every night. Occasionally he will wake up between 1-4 for a bottle but usually it is him telling us he needs more baby food. But if he is up all night- something is going on.
About 2 weeks ago Cooper went to bed like usual and woke up around 10:30pm screaming at the top of his lungs. The rest of the night he only slept for 45 minutes at a time and by 4am a fever showed up. By the morning, he wouldn't let you near his ears. So we rushed to the doctor first thing (for his march sick visit - cause the kid goes every month!).
We go to Pediatrics Associates of Richmond, which also happens to be the same practice I attended from birth - 18 years. I remember when this doctor we were scheduled to see started working at the practice... but I suppose that is unimportant.
He basically said that he thought it was crazy that I hadn't taken Cooper to an ENT specialist and planted many seeds of doubt in the originial, unofficial diagnosis. He was concerned that Cooper could have an abscess or a growth and we wouldn't have any idea because it was never definitely diagnosed (although it was HIS PARTNERS that told us an ENT consultation wasn't necessary.)
Needless to say, the doctor said Cooper did in fact have an ear infection and he suggested a couple ENTs along with his script.
So we went to see the an ENT this morning. I will skip the part about how we had to wait an hour to see a doctor and the part about how nobody seemed to think they were unprofessional (for making us wait without any heads up and getting a 6 month old baby completely off of his schedule) and move straight to the important part.
They used a scope, not any more invasive than the tubes they used for the deep suctioning in the hospital (i.e. no sedative or straight jacket necessary, thank God!) and were able to watch Cooper's throat and voice box move as he breathed and cried.
The conclusion... Cooper does not have Tracheomalacia but actually Laryngomalacia (great a whole new word to train myself to say!). The difference is apparently very small since, none of the doctors we have seen until today have corrected us (probably a total of 10).
What does this change? Nothing really but now we can confident that we know what is going on. Now that I have seen the movement of his larynx while listening to him breath, I feel waaay more confident that I will be able to assess a more serious situation should that arise. I know what to listen for and I know what should cause concern.
They want us to go back in June to look at his larynx again to be sure it is improving but the doctor seems to think all should be well by 12 months.
So bittersweet to think my sweet baby Coop won't always be my SQUEAKY baby Coop!
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
throwing rules out the window.
Okay so I need you to close your eyes and try to imagine a type A person who also happens to be a laid back (we won't say type B because that is a bit of a stretch) mom.
That's me. Crazy organized, an avid researcher, anda little very structured BUT with an ability to go with the flow. I know it doesn't make sense. It's possible, I promise.
I am a new mom and I am learning. I research, research, research, pick what I think is best, try it out and if it doesn't work go to Plan B. When I find a plan that works, I stick with it and try to keep anyone who may "babysit" to do the same. (Can you hear the type A oozing out?)
With that being said, once said "babysitter," whether it be a teacher, nurse, grandparent, etc. understands our plan, I start to trust their opinion if said plan isn't working. Get it? Probably not... We'll move on.
So sleep training. Yes, that is referring to training your child to sleep. They say... (haha there is the researcher again...)
They say that babies have to be taught how to sleep. Healthy sleep habits, they call it. So after weeks, even months of letting Cooper do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted (while mommysecretly, patiently waited, was dying for a schedule) we realized it just wasn't working (thank God). Some days he would barely sleep during the day and then be up all night, but those days where he took a few naps he slept better.
So here is the sleep training we came up with, which we pulled from various sources.
1. Establish a bedtime routine and complete it about the same time every night.
Ours is basically bath @ 7pm, bottle @ 7:30pm followed by book time and bed @ 8pm. We also sing some lullabies if he isn't interested in the books or if we finish reading early, etc.
2. Day sleeping is as important, if not more important than night sleeping.
Babies need naps. One thing I read said to limit naps to no more than 2 hours each and babies need about 12-14 hours of sleep per 24 hour period. Cooper started to naturally sleep an 8 hour stretch at night, which meant he would need about 5 hours of day sleeping (3 naps at no more than 2 hours each = 2 2-hour naps and 1-1hour nap). Gradually he started sleeping more at night and eliminated his 3rd nap, all on his own.
3. Put him down awake.
It is important for babies to be able to self soothe and put themselves to sleep. We don't do this every night in order to try and encourage flexibility. This is where the crying it out came into play. We started it once we got into a good sleep routine and found that there was very little crying. He was ready for bed at bedtime and because we were using a consistent bedtime routine, he knew what was next- bedtime. Nowadays he doesn't have to be woken up at the 2 hour mark, he wakes up on his own. And if for some reason he misses a nap, he puts himself to sleep a little bit early for bed and gets back on track the next day. It is wonderful. Another benefit of sleeping training is they wake up happy (not screaming).
And then they get sick. And whatever plan you had (bedtime routines, crib sleeping, even eating habits) doesn't matter. This can be something small like congestion (which Coop doesn't know many days without) or something intense like an ear infection.
And just whenyou okay, fine me, because we are obviously talking about me... Just when I think I am beyond type A, my sweet baby gets sick and the type B shines through and all the rules and research is out the window, as it should be. But the beauty of it all, because I kept him on a schedule, he falls right back into it all on his own.
That's me. Crazy organized, an avid researcher, and
I am a new mom and I am learning. I research, research, research, pick what I think is best, try it out and if it doesn't work go to Plan B. When I find a plan that works, I stick with it and try to keep anyone who may "babysit" to do the same. (Can you hear the type A oozing out?)
With that being said, once said "babysitter," whether it be a teacher, nurse, grandparent, etc. understands our plan, I start to trust their opinion if said plan isn't working. Get it? Probably not... We'll move on.
So sleep training. Yes, that is referring to training your child to sleep. They say... (haha there is the researcher again...)
They say that babies have to be taught how to sleep. Healthy sleep habits, they call it. So after weeks, even months of letting Cooper do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted (while mommy
So here is the sleep training we came up with, which we pulled from various sources.
1. Establish a bedtime routine and complete it about the same time every night.
Ours is basically bath @ 7pm, bottle @ 7:30pm followed by book time and bed @ 8pm. We also sing some lullabies if he isn't interested in the books or if we finish reading early, etc.
2. Day sleeping is as important, if not more important than night sleeping.
Babies need naps. One thing I read said to limit naps to no more than 2 hours each and babies need about 12-14 hours of sleep per 24 hour period. Cooper started to naturally sleep an 8 hour stretch at night, which meant he would need about 5 hours of day sleeping (3 naps at no more than 2 hours each = 2 2-hour naps and 1-1hour nap). Gradually he started sleeping more at night and eliminated his 3rd nap, all on his own.
3. Put him down awake.
It is important for babies to be able to self soothe and put themselves to sleep. We don't do this every night in order to try and encourage flexibility. This is where the crying it out came into play. We started it once we got into a good sleep routine and found that there was very little crying. He was ready for bed at bedtime and because we were using a consistent bedtime routine, he knew what was next- bedtime. Nowadays he doesn't have to be woken up at the 2 hour mark, he wakes up on his own. And if for some reason he misses a nap, he puts himself to sleep a little bit early for bed and gets back on track the next day. It is wonderful. Another benefit of sleeping training is they wake up happy (not screaming).
And then they get sick. And whatever plan you had (bedtime routines, crib sleeping, even eating habits) doesn't matter. This can be something small like congestion (which Coop doesn't know many days without) or something intense like an ear infection.
And just when
Sunday, November 14, 2010
No news is not necessarily good.
We are still here. It is getting harder, I have to admit. Cooper's throat is so dry and sore, he barely has a voice left to cry. The little bit of sound he makes breaks my heart.
I feel like I'm running a marathon with no finish line. I've been holding it together but am starting to get really tired.
As soon as I start to melt down all I can think is about how we are lucky we live close. We are lucky he doesn't have a chronic illness. We are lucky we can afford care, that we have care offered to us. Then I feel guilty for being so upset when there are so many more babies worse off than Cooper.
I guess nothing makes watching your baby sick no matter how common or severe it is.
I guess all mothers (and daddies) go through these feelings just hopefully not so early in their baby's life.
I guess every mother wishes they could breathe in the bad stuff so their baby doesn't have to.
I guess deep down I know Cooper is going to be fine, there is a finish line and he will breathe easy again (and so will I).
That still doesn't make any of it easier.
I feel like I'm running a marathon with no finish line. I've been holding it together but am starting to get really tired.
As soon as I start to melt down all I can think is about how we are lucky we live close. We are lucky he doesn't have a chronic illness. We are lucky we can afford care, that we have care offered to us. Then I feel guilty for being so upset when there are so many more babies worse off than Cooper.
I guess nothing makes watching your baby sick no matter how common or severe it is.
I guess all mothers (and daddies) go through these feelings just hopefully not so early in their baby's life.
I guess every mother wishes they could breathe in the bad stuff so their baby doesn't have to.
I guess deep down I know Cooper is going to be fine, there is a finish line and he will breathe easy again (and so will I).
That still doesn't make any of it easier.
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