little Darth Vader boy

Cooper, my dear sweet, little Darth Vader boy.


I have gotten so used to the staring that I am not even sure it still happens. Occasionally in a moment of weakness, I will look around to see. To see those moms who hold their children close, far away from my child who sounds like he has the worst case of RSV known to man.


It used to make me cry to think about it. I remember sitting in an exam room at the ENT office and asking begging our doctor to do the surgery that could correct it, with thoughts of a teen-aged Cooper trying to ask a girl on a date with this heavy, intense breathing...


He refused of course kindly explained that even if he thought it were a good idea (which he didn't) there wasn't any way insurance would cover such a surgery unless it was interfering with his ability to thrive (which is obviously a non-issue). But when does self-esteem factor into this? How do you assess the impact of those mean kids that are everywhere... they ones with those judgmental moms.


I am 28 years old, a college graduate, am making an awesome career for myself and have crossed over more obstacles than I can count in my years. I have years of grooming, both emotionally and spiritually, to make me bigger than something like noisy breathing. I STILL allow others to affect my weather with their judgmental stares (how dare she bring a sick child like that out in public!) But my son? No, not my sweet son. How can I possibly allow him to grow up like this?


Today, I attempted to explain this to our doctor. Not because I am still on the surgery train, but because I just wanted him to see how sad it makes me. I just wanted him to understand. As soon as I told him I was considering what life would be like for a 6 year old breathing like this, that I was mostly over the staring but I couldn't possibly expect Cooper to be. Dr. Brager whipped around in his chair, looked me dead in the face and said, "He. Will. Not. Sound. Like. This. We. Will. Solve. This. And in the meantime, Cooper can just beat them up."


And its true. He can. He is a healthy, beautiful, smart boy. He is doing everything he should be doing. He is sweeter than pie and is as rad as the 80s. What does it matter if he sounds like this? Grandad says, he will have an advantage over his fellow football players because his opponents will be scared shitless... Oh Grandad...

But he won't. He won't beat them up. He is far too sweet for that. He won't even notice them. He will think the moms are weird and the kids are weirder and will still walk up to them with a love knuckle fist, waiting to make a friend. He will remind mommy that I am the only one who cares that people stare, I am the only one that even notices. And if he ever does pay attention, if he ever realizes, I will let him beat them up. Just like Darth Vadar would.

a boy & a roll of wrapping paper

Cooper has been carrying around a roll of christmas wrapping paper for a few weeks now. He has used it as a walking stick, a telescope, a megaphone, you name it. Today was the day he realized it would unroll. Three seconds later, our den was covered in a red and snowman blanket. The sheer joy the followed was unimaginable. He stomped, jumped, kicked, laid down, even rolled on (and up in) this wrapping paper and laughed until his belly hurt. I, of course, did the same. Moments like these remind me of what an amazing gift it is to be a mother. Bring on the bubble wrap!

a Rice life in the Big Apple!

Shortly before Cooper's first birthday, we had a long weekend planned for the Big Apple! This was Cooper's first trip there and boy was it jam packed!

We did a little bit of everything, baseball games, broadway and even a boat ride through the harbor. Rick's sister and her husband live in Long Island and they were able to come to NYC for the weekend to hang out.

Rick and I also took a train up to Poughkeepsie where we saw my longtime good friend Jacqui marry her best friend. (First 2 photos are from her wedding photographer Andrea Ouellette.)

My love and I :)

It was a wonderful weekend!

Year One Portraits

So I realize Cooper is now 18-months. Quit complaining... here they are! Cooper and his buddy Emery (who is only a mere 6 days older than him) met at Maymont & Byrd parks to take their year portraits together. The two are like brother and sister, loving on it each other followed by a smack in the face! Enjoy!

i'm baaaackkk

Where do I even begin?


It has been almost 5 months since my last post. My apologies. I could blame the speed of life, or my job promotion, or my toddler...
Or I could be honest and say it is truly because we got rid of our internet.


Yeah about that... 
I have since realized that it is the 21st century and internet is kind of a must.
I have realized that this blog is not only a journal about my life as a mother, wife and educator but it is beyond therapeutic for me. 
I have realized how much I LOVE to write and not having this blog to document my feelings in such a personal way (for anyone to read who wants to... how personal is that?) has been a bit of a hole in my life.


So I am baaaackkk...


I will do my best to update with pictures and videos the best I can, with everything that has happened in the last 5 months, and will somehow, hopefully, stay on top of the current happenings as well. It very well may take me a few weeks, even months to do it, but it will be done. It has to be done. For me, for Rick and for Cooper.


So I invited you on a small trip down our memory lane. Back to October of last year... Back to the holidays, to our many mini-vacations, promotions, job changes, media appearances and even talk and by talk I mean TALK) of another baby.


Let the memories commence!


But in the meantime...


HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

ENT update.

Welp, its official. I have lost count of how many ear infections Cooper has had. But he has one yet again and with it so early in the cold season, his doctor thinks tubes is the best choice. (We kinda all knew this would happen.) So October 18 will be the day he says goodbye to constant fluid in his ears and equilibrium problems (we hope!)

His best friend got tubes just a few days ago and recovered within the day and is waaaay happier since. I am definitely more confident about getting tubes than I was 8 weeks ago. I am definitely looking forward to relieving the discomfort my sweet baby has been in.


Since we haven't heard much improvement with his stridor, they have once again extended the window, now we should expect he will grow out of it by age 5. This was beyond disappointing but also not that much of a surprise, either. I'm just so thankful he is hitting milestones like he's supposed to. We are continuing to cherish every moment since time is definitely not slowing down!

Here's to tomorrow!

I can't get through posts without a few tears anymore. Each one is about how much my life, cooper's life and even our life as a family has changed and (usually) improved.

Last night, Cooper blew me a kiss. I instantly teared up. He is turning into such a sweet, sweet boy and it is hard to keep the tears at bay.

We have said good-bye to the bottle, baby food and most recently, the paci. We have said hello to walking, talking (and talking back) a little bit of hitting and defiance and sadly I am sure biting is just around the corner.

Every night there is some new moment that Rick and I look at each other, utterly excited, that tomorrow is going to be even funner (oh, its a word!) than the day before.

I just had no idea how amazing being a mother would be. I had no idea how much more fun our little family was capable of!

So here's to tomorrow! And the absolute joy our dear Cooper has brought into our lives!

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