What I Know...

It's been over a week and I don't know anything more than I did yesterday... or 5 days ago. 

Well that is not entirely true. 

I know that the team of doctor's decided and set in stone my C-section date for Wednesday, March 27th at 12:00pm. 

I know that because one's risk of seizing is highest during surgery and immediately following, I will have to be at the hospital 6 hours early to begin a magnesium IV. 

I know that my neurologist doesn't really think I am having seizures, in fact if it wasn't for the 2nd "mass of cells" in a "seizure causing area" she would have said I was having migraines but unfortunately without more testing to rule our seizures, she simply can't say that right now.

I know all the reasons not being able to drive do in fact, have a silver lining. For example, have I mentioned how much I hate getting in the car on Monday morning and the gas light is on? Yeah, I don't have to deal with that anymore. Or how much I hate having to get Coop ready for school in the morning when Rick is long gone off to work. Yeah, I don't have to do that alone anymore, either. There seem to be actual benefits to not being able to drive!

I know that I am ready to have this baby. We are ready for this baby. And I am so happy I don't have to be preggo for 4 extra weeks!

I know that I have some pretty amazing people in my life. From friends who bend over backwards, send flowers, care packages and buy me a coke when I'm sluggish to the parents of Cooper's buddies who fill my freezer with delicious dinners to take the stress off our plate all the way to amazing co-workers and bosses who simply just understand. The last 2 weeks could've been incredibly stressful trying to juggle the news and being a mom and wife all while trying to wrap my brain around the millions of things that need to get done before maternity leave. But they weren't because of the amazing support I received. 

I know that I married an amazing man. There have been times in our 4.5 years of marriage where I may have forgotten why I fell in love with him, times where he would drive me so batty I would wonder what I got myself into. But I have been reminded of all the reasons again. Every single last one. He is one hell of a man. He is an amazing husband and father and if I learn nothing else, absolutely nothing else, I am so glad this happened so we could be reminded of this love that is bigger than our love for Cooper or Griffin, a special love we share for each other.

[I almost did that last one without crying.]

So I guess I have already learned a lot. I do actually know more than I did yesterday and 5 days ago. And for some reason I believe there is way more to come in the learning department. I know that the more open I am to learning any and everything God is teaching me in this crazy life that still doesn't feel real, the smoother all of this will go. I also know that I can't worry about the what if's or why's that God hasn't answered yet, because he will in his own time and what I don't know isn't really that big of a deal. 

Above all else, I know that sometimes the answer is just to Let Go and Let God.