Dear Cooper James

You are so brave.
I am so very proud of the sweet baby you are right now and the wonderful man you will grow to be. I already see so much positive personality in your sweet little self even at 11 weeks old.
You are proving to not only be a good sport but also a tough one. I have a feeling you are going to keep your daddy and I grounded with your positive attitude. Through this whole sickness, even at your worst, you have continued to laugh and giggle and remind us of how important the little things are. Your smile makes me melt.
I promise you, when you make a sad choice and we aren't very happy with you, I'm going to let it go. I'm going to let you have ice cream for dinner because of the brave boy that you are.
I love you through and through.
Love, Mommy

No news is not necessarily good.

We are still here. It is getting harder, I have to admit. Cooper's throat is so dry and sore, he barely has a voice left to cry. The little bit of sound he makes breaks my heart.
I feel like I'm running a marathon with no finish line. I've been holding it together but am starting to get really tired.
As soon as I start to melt down all I can think is about how we are lucky we live close. We are lucky he doesn't have a chronic illness. We are lucky we can afford care, that we have care offered to us. Then I feel guilty for being so upset when there are so many more babies worse off than Cooper.
I guess nothing makes watching your baby sick no matter how common or severe it is.
I guess all mothers (and daddies) go through these feelings just hopefully not so early in their baby's life.
I guess every mother wishes they could breathe in the bad stuff so their baby doesn't have to.
I guess deep down I know Cooper is going to be fine, there is a finish line and he will breathe easy again (and so will I).
That still doesn't make any of it easier.

My sweet baby is a trooper!

The pediatrician has decided to keep Cooper here another night. His breathing is still labored at times and he is extremely congested.
They have done a deep suction that sucks the mucous all the down to his lungs and a couple of suctions of his nose and throat that seem to have helped.
Because of all the mucous they now think it is bronchialitus instead of croup. But still believe he has tracheomalacia.
They will continue to monitor him throughout the night but are hopeful we will be able to leave in the morning.
He is being such a good sport through all of this. I sure do wish I could let him have a scoop of ice cream for dinner! :)

Cooper's first ER visit.

Yep that is right. We went to the ER yesterday.

Let me start from the beginning...
About 3 weeks ago, we started noticing some wheezing. Mostly, just when Coop was upset or excited. As the days went by we started noticing it more and more.
Two weeks ago, we went to the doctor. They checked Coop out and concluded it was probably a condition called Tracheomalacia aka floppy trachea.
There are ridges throughout your trachea that keep it in a cylinder shape (similar to a corrugated tube that you might use in your yard). With this condition, the cartilage hasn't finished forming so between 2 of the ridges it is floppy causing an occasionally obstruction in the airway is the person inhales.
This means laying down, eating, etc. Are more difficult because the trachea has to fight gravity.

So back to the story...
A week ago Cooper has his 2 month check-up. They said everything looked great and the wheezing sounded okay but most importantly wasn't interfering in anything.
So Thursday night Cooper started sounding really congested. Over the night it got way worse. We took him to the pediatrician and the nurse practitioner we saw said it sounded like croup. He got 2 nebeulizer treatments and seemed to be sounding better. We fed him before we packed up to leave (with our very own at-home neb).
Then, he started sounding worse and worse and as we made an appointment to come back for a follow-up a doctor pulled us aside to re-exam him. She concluded that because his chest was retracting for him to inhale and it seemed like he was using his own body to breathe it would be best if we went to the ER.

We headed to St. Mary's where they did a bunch more tests, 2 chest x-rays, 2 more neb treatments with a stronger medicine and an oral steroid. He didn't sound as good as they would like so they had us spend the night for more observations.
He started eating normally over night and seems to be sleeping a little better. At times he even breathes quietly. (At his worst, he sounded like a grown man snoring.)
They have concluded that he does in fact have tracheomalacia. They are still unsure if this particular episode is actual croup or a tracheomalacia flair-up caused by a respiratory infection.

What does this mean in the future? It means every little cold he catches is going to hit him harder, or at least sound like it.
It is my understanding 99% of children grow out of this and they go on to being healthy children. In very rare, severe cases they will refer children to see an ear, nose and throat specialist to officially diagnose and treat the condition.
We were being discharged today but Coop has since starting using his body to breathe again. They are keeping him today, possibly tonight just to be sure he is ready to go home.
Thanks for the love, prayers and support. We are so blessed to have an amazing support system.

Happy Monday!

My sweet handsome boy! :)

My baby skeleton!

So, Cooper's costume wasn't half as creative as mine I know. I chose practicality this year (the cheeseburger costume from old navy was in the running). With him being so small I figured we could save the uncomfortable costumes for the next 10+ years.

But he was rockin' some pretty awesome skull and crossbone sneakers AND socks!

I belong on 'I love the 80s!'

Yep, that's me. This here rubik's cube costume won't best overall costume. Prize = $50 which paid Rick and I's tab at Mulligan's! Happy Halloween!