cooper's birth story...finally!

So last time we were celebrating our 2 year anniversary! Gosh, so much has happened in the last 3 weeks its hard to know where to begin... and I must apologize this is a LONG post...

So our due date was fast approaching and Cooper showed no signs of being ready to join us. I was going to the doctor once a week, each time leaving school expecting not to return! And as you have probably guessed, getting more miserable/hot/swollen by each passing day. I was READY to have this baby!

Yeah, yeah, I know everyone kept telling us, get sleep while you can, enjoy it while you can.. blah blah blah I was not enjoying being the size of a whale. I could barely get out of bed all 4 million times I had to get up to pee. I really just didn't want to be pregnant anymore.

Then our due date came and went. Coop was still showing no signs of being ready. Each appointment turned me to absolute mush... instant crying the minute we got in the car to once again leave St. Mary's empty handed. It was seriously starting to feel like I would be pregnant for the rest of my life.

My go-to joke was that this was some sick joke. I wasn't actually pregnant, I just gained a bunch of weight. There actually wasn't a baby in there...

Are you starting to see how desperate I was?

Friday, August 27th my doctor scheduled yet another ultrasound to check on the baby. She said the previous Monday that we would make some decisions based on the ultrasound findings. These were the options she mentioned on Monday... a) hope that my body and baby were ready and I would go into labor on my own b) induce labor (multiple different ways were options) but with my closed cervix and the baby not engaged in my pelvic cavity at all would 50% likely result in a c-section after hours of trying to force labor OR c) elect to have a c-section.

So basically the whole week I cried. I had stopped working so needless to say had a lot of time on my hands which was mostly spent crying. I prayed more than I have ever prayed. I called my sister and sought her advice. And then cried some more...

I tried to let go. Every time I let go, God usually shows me the right answer. But as much as I tried, I couldn't let go. I had spent the better part of the last 10 months focused on not having a C-section. I wanted a natural childbirth more than anything else (well besides a healthy baby). But I was starting to feel like there was a C-section in my future...

Then I realized my goals were unrealistic. Just like my doctor said from the very beginning of this pregnancy, the way the baby comes will be up to the baby. He will guide us on his birthday, not the other way around. It was time to focus on things I could control and let go of the rest.

If I couldn't be guaranteed to hold him, I at least wanted to remember him being born. After talking with many women, including my doctor, it seemed that inducing labor with my circumstances wouldn't be successful and if I had to have a C-section after days of labor, I wouldn't remember it.

After a long week, we decided if nothing had changed at our appointment on Friday, we would elect to  have a C-section, end the waiting game and meet our little man. And sure enough, there had been zero change. At 5pm on Friday afternoon, my doctor was able to schedule a C-section for Monday morning (August 30). She said hopefully I would go into labor on my own over the weekend but if not, we would check one last time Monday morning to make sure inducing labor wasn't a better option but otherwise to plan on a C-section.

Monday morning rolls around and we are beyond excited. It took many long days of praying and crying to come to the conclusion that a C-section was the best option. We were both VERY excited our long wait was coming to an end. Little did we know how important this decision would be....

We were told to be at the hospital at 6am but in our excitement arrived a little early. The first nurse we had was very quick to voice her opinion on our elective C-section. Multiple different times she made comments about how weird it was that my doctor agreed to perform surgery when induction wasn't even attempted. I responded as politely as you can at 5:45am when someone is telling you that you are making a mistake. It took all of my energy not to tell her how unprofessional she was being. Last time I checked this was my body and the decision was between my doctor, my husband and me and had absolutely nothing to do with her. Thankfully, Rick kept reminding me that we came to this decision carefully and not to listen to her. 

Thank God for shift change because the next nurse we had was the polar opposite. She asked the same questions but instead of telling us we were making a mistake, she totally got it. She never questioned our decision. She was goofy and sweet and kept us laughing all the way through Cooper's birth. 

They checked me one last time to discover there was no change. Cooper was coming via C-section. I couldn't believe it was finally here. I was scared, nervous, excited, ya know about everything you can feel all at once.

Fast forward through the incision.... Rick was sitting next to me. He was white as a ghost in his scrubs but telling me how excited he was. I hear them tell us it's a boy and then my doctor says, Rick you are going to want to get a picture of this... and holds up the umbilical cord that is tied in a knot, a loose knot but a real knot. As Rick pulls out the camera the doctor precedes to tell us that these knots cause still births. The nurses are now explaining to me had we tried induction, the knot would've tightened cutting off all of Cooper's blood and oxygen, resulting in what they referred to as a "fire alarm" c-section, meaning we would've raced to the OR to have an emergency C-section and I would've been put to sleep. I wouldn't have my husband or my memory. 

I still have yet to hear my baby cry. I hear still birth and no baby cry and start asking Rick over and over if he is okay. Of course he was okay. Healthy as a horse, but with a little fluid in his lungs. I immediately start crying. Not because I just had a baby but because I am beyond happy to have been led down this path.

I am so happy we decided to have a c-section. Who knows what could've happened to our sweet baby boy if we had chosen option a or b.

After we got to visit with Cooper for a few minutes, they whisked him off to the nursery to make sure his lungs would get the fluid out. I just lay there in shock while they close me up, absolute shock that my baby has had a knot in his umbilical cord for the better part of this pregnancy. There is no doubt based on his size (and mine!) that he was getting nourishment throughout the pregnancy. 

I am so thankful that I was able to let go and give it to God. Because he is my little miracle. He was meant to come via C-section and he was meant to be ours! :)

Ps. Pictures to be posted soon! Will not be sharing the actually surgery pictures because they are a bit vulgar, so if you would like to see the umbilical cord, I can email it. :)